Keevins goes all out to state the obvious about Celtic’s wealth in his Sunday column
Eric Knott 
It’s definitely a slow news day when Hugh Keevins decides it’s time to state that Celtic have more money than the Ibrox side.
I often wonder if this man has ever had an original thought as a journalist.
Today’s article does nothing other than state the obvious.
Celtic have more money than their nearest rivals in Govan, and more money than the whole of the Scottish Premiership combined.
Ground breaking, Pulitzer prize winning journalism at it’s best in this morning’s Record.
By stating the blindingly obvious, Keevins reckons Michael Beale doesn’t stand a chance when it comes to mounting a challenge against Celtic in the upcoming season.
Simply because we have more money.
Oh yes, and Dermot Desmond.
I won’t bore you with much of the particulars in this article, it’s the usual Keevins fare, but this segment displays his complete and utter ignorance of the facts when it comes to our club:
Neil Lennon has paid tribute to Celtic’s principal shareholder, Dermot Desmond, by calling him the most important figure at the club over the last three decades. Never was a truer word spoken and the supporters who sneer at him and call the Irishman an absentee landlord should ask themselves one big, important question.
Can you imagine the place without Desmond and his 30 years’ worth of financial support and leadership? High among Dermot’s priorities, it has always struck me, is ignoring any opinion other than his own, which is completely his prerogative.
First of all, Neil Lennon is talking bollocks and Keevins, if he was half a journalist, would know that.
At the outset of the article, apparently Keevins was crunching the numbers.
Maths obviously isn’t his strong suit then.
Early in the article, he states that the Ibrox side won the league in 2018.
Enough said.
Anyway, Keevins should know that Dermot Desmond does not bankroll Celtic.
He has never put up any of his own money for the purchase of a player and if anything, he takes money out of the club in the form of the dividends he makes each year as a shareholder.
The entire SMSM believes he bankrolled Brendan Rodgers’ wages as manager.
This again, is not true.
Celtic, as a club, has more than enough money to finance the wages of Brendan Rodgers.
After all, isn’t this whole concept the main thrust of Keevins article?
By stating what he does about Dermot Desmond, he is totally contradicting himself.
Where he states that Celtic may as well just say, “We are loaded”, he might as well have said, “We’re loaded because Dermot Desmond has been financially supporting the club for 30 years.”
Which we all know he hasn’t.
There’s a reason he’s referred to as the “Absentee Landlord.”
We rarely see him at the club, he rarely speaks in public and he definitively takes more money out of the club than he ever puts into it.
In 1994, he invested £4million in the club to become a shareholder.
In 1999, he invested a further £8million in the club, which made him the majority shareholder, with a 20% controlling interest.
Shareholder being the operative word.
And what do shareholders expect when they invest in a business?
A return on their investment.
You can be pretty damn sure that Dermot Desmond has received a nice return on his investment since 1999.
I’m not a journalist, but this is stating the blindingly obvious.
Keevins has an uncanny ability to make himself look stupid.
He starts this morning’s article by stating the obvious.
We will most likely win the league because we are better financed than the Ibrox side.
If we don’t, then Brendan Rodgers should lose his job.
Once again, obvious.
But stating that we are in this position because of Dermot Desmond, well, that is manifestly untrue.
We are in this position because we are a well managed, well run football operation.
Something Dermot Desmond plays a part in overseeing, but leaves mostly to the likes of Michael Nicholson and Chris McKay.
Dermot Desmond is not infallible, he after all, was the one who sanctioned the re-appointment of Neil Lennon.
We all know where that got the club.
It’s also the reason Lennon is today waxing lyrical about Dermot Desmond.
He pretty much owes everything to do with his involvement with Celtic to Desmond.
Keevins finishes his article with this beauty:
When money talks it normally explains why those who have it usually finish higher than those who have less than they do. Or else you’d better have a really good reason why that’s not the case. A balance sheet isn’t a trophy but it’s supposed to signpost the way towards them.
Genius.
There’s a reason I do a parody article about this journalist.
Today’s offering reminds me of why I’ll continue to do it.
Hugh Keevins.
Always good for a laugh, no matter what.
Aodhán Ó Conchobhair 
You have to give good credit when it is due! Old QeII Keevins is one of the finest if not the finest , Record Hotline telephonist’s ever ! Those dulcet tones with perfect grammar ,as he eloquently cut off callers in their prime is quite a gift , don’t you think ? Makes you wonder why he never made chief sports scoop at the ailing rag ?
The whole mind set of these articles is to diminish Celtic achievements and to set up Sevco as some sort of working class heroes. The only person in the history of Scottish who could be described as a “sugar daddy” was David Murray and when Sevco climbed out the coffin of Rangers in 2012 the only thing that stopped them jumping straight back into that grave was the fact their directors were bankrolling them to the tune of millions. But no let’s write a fantasy story about Celtic.