A Kew Heavins exclusive: Disastrous start for Rodgers, as Celtic in crisis after Yokohama implosion
Eric Knott 
Koji Watanabe/Getty Images Sport
It’s all coming apart at the seams for Brendan Rodgers since his box office return to Celtic Park.
After a 6-4 defeat to Yokohama F Marinos, it looks like his Celtic side are a bunch of box office flops.
One dreads to think what’s in store for them when they face their next Japanese opponents, Gamba Osaka.
I said when Ange Postecoglou came to Scottish football from Vissel Kobe that Japanese football was of a standard as good as any top European league.
It would appear I have been proven correct in that assumption.
After the hammering dished out to hapless Celtic by ex-Ibrox hardman Kevin Muscat’s side, it looks like it’s game on for Michael Beale to take back the title he considers rightfully his.
Celtic are falling apart.
New Ibrox signing and goal machine, Sam Lammers, must be rubbing his hands with glee at the thoughts of facing Joe Hart in the Celtic goal in next September’s O** F*** derby.
With Hart between the sticks, the Ibrox strikers will have an absolute field day in front of goal.
His colossal, brutal and hapless error allowed Anderson Lopes to open the scoring for Muscat’s Ibrox lookalikes.
With their colours almost identical to the Ibrox side, it seems like this pasting will be a sign of things to come in this season’s Scottish Premiership.
Celtic are well and truly finished as a force in Scottish football now.
A new era of dominance is about to begin in the Scottish game.
As much as it pains me to say it being a Sellick fan myself, this has been a long time coming.
The rot really began with the departure of Ange Postecoglou.
You’ll recall when he first came to the Scottish game, I trumpeted him as a fantastic addition to our game.
I knew, coming from a club like Grampus 8, where the great Arsene Wenger had managed, that he would set the Scottish game alight.
And he did just that.
He was a breath of fresh air and he injected new life into a Celtic side in disarray.
Unfortunately, he was just too good for the Scottish game, or should I say, the Scottish game wasn’t good enough for him.
Now he finds himself dazzled by the bright lights of the EPL, and managing Arsenal.
Ironic that he’s ended up managing two same clubs Arsene Wenger also managed in Grampus 8 and Arsenal.
One thing that has become very apparent since his departure, is the fact that Ange Postecoglou was clearly in total control at Celtic when he was there.
Since Rodgers came back, the old regime is back in full swing.
Pistol Pete is pulling all of the strings once again.
Selling all of the clubs best assets and replacing them with “projects”.
Being 95 years a journalist, I have the inside track on all the machinations and goings on at Celtic Park.
I can tell you Reo Hatate will be off for about £32million soon enough, followed by Liel Abada for a cool £15million.
Then Matt O’Riley, the Dutch internationalist, will be off to join Ange at Arsenal for £20million.
A nice profit on the original £1.5million spent to secure his services from AFC Wimbledon.
While the bank balance grows, the squad will shrink and become bloated with “projects”.
Because that’s the way Pistol Pete wants it.
Meanwhile, Michael Beale is shrewdly filling his squad with winners.
The future England manager is sparing no expense in securing the players he requires to dominate Scottish football for the foreseeable future.
It’s bleak times ahead for Celtic, who are now a club in crisis.
Wednesday’s result against Yokohama is evidence enough that they are a spent force.
I’m never one to be hasty, as you well know.
When Ange led his charges out against Hearts in the opening game of the 2021/22 season, I predicted great things for him.
Absolutely. Naturally. Good. Enough.
I have an instinct for these things.
That’s why he’s at Arsenal and Celtic are heading to oblivion.
Sad, but true.
Aodhán Ó Conchobhair 
The best thing the QEII could do would be to grow a beard of Leland Sklar size and length, cancel all internet and broadband subscriptions plus phone , then trek into the deepest forest ranges in the Highlands and live completely off grid for the foreseeable future ! Everyone’s a winner as the old adage goes …
splitting my sides laughing at the above article as the wee cockney sparra will have to have the magnificent 7 playing like a strada….. s strata….. a violin to match the mighty tic he,l be buskin in buchanan calories next trying to catch a ” alf a sixpence guvna ?” with a wee ” corr look at you mary poppins ” with fanny dyer givin it ” ere micky boy i was fekin brikin it mate from the jocks but now i see alf of them are awrite anyway back to me barra singin cockles n mussels for five in a row !
I know it’s tongue in cheek, but you are absolutely right about one thing, that rat Lawell is back behind the scenes and scuppering deals, that bastard is the worste thing to happen to Celtic this millennium.
Why do you print this nonsense?
Of course it’s supposed to be “tongue in cheek” but the writer also inserts some of his own “serious”bias in there.
This isn’t funny and it does nothing for Celtic!
It’s because of biased journalism like this I don’t buy the record any more.
More and more people are I believe doing the same thing, people just won’t pay to read rubbish like mr Keevin produces.
90%of the story is utterly shite. Very few facts, mistakes all the way through. Check your facts before posting shit.
It’s a parody you muppet
Half in jest, half in earnest….but while funny, there’s a few pertinent remarks….notably Lawell….projects and sales.
I. of the same opinion regarding Lawell…..those who think he left (pand I wasn’t one of them])p are the type of sheep who believe government works for you…..HE NEVER WENT, JUST WENT QUIET till the cafufle of the 10 in a row season died down….
Regarding the tour of Japan…its a farce….and results, while important, don’t count….its about analysing your targets and options.
For celtic this is an absolute MUST WIN season….we need to leave the orcs with nothing…..destroy them through the debts they themselves have created….
Ange is at spurs, not arsenal! Check your facts you bias imbecile
Hi David, there are no facts in the article, in fact Kew Heavins doesn’t even exist. This, my friend, is what you call a parody. It’s taking the piss out of a certain journalist who always gets his predictions wrong. Did Matt O’Riley sign from AFC Wimbledon and is he a Dutch international? Did Ange manage Nagoya Grampus 8? You get the drift?
Has no1 picked up on that ange is at Tottenham and not arsenal?? How many years have you been a journalist?
How did you get this job. You simply have no idea what you are talking about. If you look at the team that celtic started with, they were hammering their opposition . It wasnt until Rodgers made all the changes in the second half that they lost their way a bit. It was a friendly match and a chance to see what the younger players were like. Let’s see again when the league starts and see Celtic winning the league again.
Honestly, there’s some totally gullible muppets on this site! 🤣🤣🤣
Hilarious as usual although it never fails to amaze how some people actually think your serious. I have come to the conclusion that they have never read or actually know who Mr Keevins is(I am sure he’ll be mighty upset by that fact) I wish all of us who were splitting our sides with laughter were in the same boat. There is definitely something to be gained by blissful ignorance although a sense of humour is not one of them. Look forward to your next article Kew.
What is wrong with people?? Kew heavens,Arsenal Ha..It is true that people will believe anything these days,Not thier fault it’s the they have been conditioned into thinking the same way as the rest of the flock.Believe nothing you see and half of what you hear.Question everything..✌
Some right brain dead idiots on here !!! It’s parody ya bellends. Kew Heavins? Or Hugh Keavins? Ffs!!!
Awe dear,dear,me mate it’s pre season had them for as long as our trophy 🏆 list ,never ending go get a grip and become a real journalist no biased, no favouritesem and just report on facts,results in competition for titles, cups and everything else wee have won ( sorry a bit biased there ) that’s because I’m talking facts not what you think personally , so do the job you’re payed to do and not how you feel or think and sorry, 4 trebles/ undefeated season/breaking world records and the list goes on, so report on all good news about any team or bad news no just the team that’s champions again I’m biased myself because I love my club but I no who I support do you ( don’t spend money on journalists employed to talk s#i# because they are payed to give fact and no turn 1 bad result to the end of a season that’s not even started c u at the celebrations for reporters of the year , better sitting at the back it’s easy yo dissappear when you’re not noticed
Before you spout crap like that in your article, you need to get all you’re facts right for starts. Ange and arsenal??? What planet you been on this past 2 years??
1 defeat in a pre-season friendly doesn’t shape the way the coming season is going to pan out either. Get yer heed out yer a***
One word for you Billy…Parody
Now u know why normal human beings DONT buy the DAILY RANGER