Bealeball and revolutions? One game down and Celtic find themselves 3 points clear – this revolution could be dead in the water by the weekend
Eric Knott 
Alan Harvey - SNS Group/SNS Group/Getty Images
Well, we finally got to see what all the hype was about at Rugby Park on Saturday evening.
There is indeed a revolution going on at Ibrox, but not the kind you’d expect.
It seems to be one that is designed to revolutionise the game of football as we know it.
You take the game of football and approach your opponent with no discernible tactics.
You then hope that this causes utter confusion and that your opponent has no idea what’s actually going on.
Keith Jackson said that Michael Beale promised to unleash his vision of organised chaos.
Well, he got one half of it right.
There was only one problem though, Derek McInnes saw through the chaos and he decided to meet it head on with those pesky things you call tactics.
Unfortunately, Bealeball wasn’t built for that, and now Celtic find themselves with the earliest of early leads in the title race.
What’s more unfortunate for the affable cockney geeza, is that Brendan Rodgers decided to approach Saturday’s tie using those pesky things called tactic as well.
He may even decide to use them when he rocks up to Ibrox on September 3rd too!
I remember a game not so long ago at Ibrox where Brendan used tactics, oh what fun we had that day!
Poor Graham Murty was bamboozled.
Even with 11 men to Brendan’s 10, poor Graham couldn’t figure out how to beat him.
He never recovered from that, the poor man.
He still has nightmares about it.
You see, that’s what tactics do to you, they cause you to get beaten in games if the other manager is smart at using them.
Derek McInnes isn’t that smart, in fact, he’s probably one of the most one dimensional managers out there.
But he still uses tactics.
He used them on Saturday to great effect.
And now people think he’s a tactical genius.
But he’s not really, he just thought all his Christmases came together when he discovered Bealeball doesn’t deploy tactics.
Ah well, it’s already starting to look cartoonish for poor Micky Beale.
Staunchardly and Hunnley’s attempts to catch those pesky Celts is just going to go on and on and on.
Just ask Pedro how he got on.
Boy does he have stories to tell!
From bushes to caravans and barking dogs, WATP graffiti and green boots.
It looks like the good ‘ol days are well and truly back.
It could turn into comedy gold by Wednesday night when Servette FC rock up to Ibrox for their Champions League qualifier.
I do hope poor Micky Beale decides to deploy tactics that night.
Because whatever about not deploying tactics in the Scottish Premiership, you can be sure those tick tock precision Swiss teams will use them.
Then again, poor Micky has never managed in Europe, has he?
Come to think of it, I’m surprised his employers haven’t boycotted European competition, what with their staunch belief in Brexit and all that?
Oh yeah, I forgot, in the words of that funny guy, Jan Dahl Tomasson, “they need the Champions Leagues money, yeah, I think so, I think they need that?”
Well, we had to listen to the SMSM harp on throughout the whole of the off season about the Beale Revolution.
We had to concede the Close Season Cup as well.
Then those really, really annoying competitive games started again last weekend.
Oh well, I guess competitive games aren’t for everyone.
Come to think, tactics don’t seem to be either.
This particular revolution could be dead in the water by the weekend.
Spare a thought for poor Micky.
Dijon mustard Sterling said he was a tactical genius.
He must not know what REAL tactics are I suppose.
When you deploy them to great effect, you win trebles and stuff.
Ah well, I suppose trebles aren’t for everyone.
Aodhán Ó Conchobhair 
Bhoycie 
There seems to be a simmering campaign to bring back big Alfoodo , you know the one who is 2 stone overweight presently and who downed tools on a number of occasions when employed by the Rangers last time ! What kind of blinkered mentality is that , when the slob who let the clumpany down so many times is flavour of the month again . Those massive Scooby Snacks on offer in downtown Govan ,might just tempt him … let’s hope so . Yaaggeeee!
Well well well. All the confidence and bravado coming from the zombie nation extinguised within 90 mins! Micky the master tactician falls at the first hurdle, dick tock Todd will be bullied by nobody was the cry from the zombies! That was shattered within a few minutes when he was knocked on his arse ! Lammers shites himself after his first taste of scottish football and dissapears the rest of the game. As for sima, he makes sakala look like a world beater😁 viva the sevco revolution! By the way has anybody heard from Billy boy?
I was in the Gallowgate on Saturday night while the game was on and although l wasn’t watching l could hear Billy Boy numerous times.
Thing is,you can always tell if the huns are doing well because when they are it is sung in a gruff menacing tone but at the weekend every time l heard it lilting through the airwaves it went up a notch on the musical scale as the desparation grew.
I’m hoping to hear the massed soprano version of it come Wednesday evening.
Liam,
I am still here my friend Ive never went away you know.
Eric,
I have to agree with your article.