A Kew Heavins exclusive: Beale has his Ibrox rebuild complete, while Celtic continue to muddle through theirs
Eric Knott 
Alan Harvey - SNS Group/SNS Group/Getty Images
Things have never looked as rosy in the garden as they do at Ibrox right now.
Michael Beale had the monumental task of rebuilding his Ibrox side, and it looks like he has completed it with aplomb.
This new look Ibrox side is going places.
I should know, I’ve been 90 years in this game and I’ve seen a few Ibrox sides in my time.
Rest assured, this one is the real deal.
This one is coming for Celtic’s treble.
With Lady Cantwell leading the charge, despite being vertically challenged, the Ibrox side is looking supremely strong for the season ahead.
Now, I know a lot of people have been complaining about Lady Cantwell’s inability to stay off the deck, but you have to understand that she/he/they have twinkle toes.
It is these twinkle toes that lead to such supreme, breathtaking skill on the pitch, that it takes one’s breath away.
This old codger doesn’t have much of that left in his body, but Lady Cantwell does make me feel young again.
In fact, this old codger wasn’t very au-fait with Tik Tok until Lady Cantwell came on the scene.
Now I can’t stay off it.
I digress, back to the Fitba.
The Ibrox side showed their true class on Tuesday night, with a sterling performance against Servette FC of Switzerland.
This, of course, followed on from their master-class the previous Wednesday night at Ibrox.
This truly displays the genius in Michael Beale’s astute rebuild.
All the pieces are coming together nicely and what is telling, is the fact that it’s coming together much faster than a certain Greek-Australian’s rebuild two seasons ago.
Everybody of an Ibrox persuasion is quick to point out what happened in Ange Postecoglou’s first game in-charge of my favourite team.
Michael Beale, of course, also lost his FIRST game in charge at Kilmarnock.
But the big difference here, is that despite losing his FIRST game in charge at Rugby Park, Beale has gone one better than Ange Postecoglou did in the Champions League.
He has negotiated the first qualifying round with ease.
Celtic lost to Midtjyland.
Now Beale has to face old foes PSV Eindhoven to qualify for the group stages.
Who would bet against the Ibrox side turning them over, home and away?
Such is the quality now on display in Beale’s new look side.
One has to admit that the signs are there for a hugely successful season ahead at Ibrox.
Meanwhile, over at my favourite club Celtic’s dilapidated stadium, things seems to be moving at a snail’s pace.
A spluttering, faltering start to the season has resulted in two unconvincing wins, achieved with a side that seems to be cobbled together with projects and the remnants of last season’s treble winning side.
Whether Brendan Rodgers expected it or not, he has been left with a monumental rebuild at Celtic.
So far, he has been muddling through a shockingly poor squad rebuild.
There has been a mass exodus out of the club, with more expected to leave before the transfer window shuts.
It doesn’t bode well for the season ahead.
As usual, Celtic have penny pinched on the replacements.
They’ve been bringing in unknown quantities and projects to replace the likes of Jota and Starfelt.
Hatate has one foot, injured or not, out the door, and I would expect big bids incoming for the likes of Matt O’Riley and Kyogo Furuhashi.
Now that Harry Kane is gone from Spurs, expect a late night raid from a certain Greek-Australian gaffer for both Furuhashi and Hatate.
Money is no object there.
Last night the club announced the signing of some little known Finnish player, called Adolf Lagerbelcher for a pittance of £3million.
I’m told at that price, they overpaid for him.
This follows the recent signature of little known Ukrainian player Mikhail Nawrockayiv for £4.5 million.
That seems like daylight robbery to me.
Celtic have been had here.
Will he be another Maryan Shved?
This is the sort of uninspiring dreck Celtic’s penny pinching board is replacing first team footballers with.
One suspects they’ll bring back on-loan Johnny Kenny from Shamrock Rovers to replace Kyogo Furuhashi when he departs.
It’s also rumoured that if Hatate leaves, Yosuke Ideguchi will be recalled from his loan spell at J1 League side Avispa Fukuoka, to replace him.
Contrast this to the smooth operation that is the well oiled Ibrox transfer machine, and you see why Celtic are destined for mediocrity this season and the Ibrox side is headed for glory on all fronts.
Who would bet against them making the Champions League final this season?
Dijon “mustard” Sterling did, after all, say this:
What he presented to me, what he wanted me to achieve and what he wanted to achieve were all in line for my next building block. It just made sense. Already on the pitch you can see his tactical brain is genius. I ain’t got nothing else, he’s just a genius. He goes into so much detail.
That, my friends, is why Celtic will be left in the rear view mirror by Beale and his professionally assembled, new look, quality squad.
This old codger says you can bet your bottom dollar on that.
In fact, you can bet your house on it.
Take that from me.
And you know I rarely get my predictions wrong.
If ever.
Hilarious as always, brightens my day. Wonder how much of it the dinosaur will repeat in his usual anti celtic ramblings on Sunday.
Well Well, another hallucinatory piece of rubbish, do you actually watch football.he/she/ it and his mates should have been 3-1 down at half time playing a team equivalent to Airdrie. Take off your blue tinted glasses and explain how much money has been spent by 1 out of 12 league winners.but when you have been sold for a pound it takes time to gain solvency.heres to our next 3 titles and 56, the most successful club in the world lives at Celtic Park
Same ol shite every year . We remember what ANGE stood for by your estimation” another not good enough” bere he won all domestic trophies on offer. You are famouse more for getting it wrong. How often have you said on Clyde1 that Celtic are not at the races only for them to score. Give up. You are hopeless and a bit of a joke really.
I cannot believe that the previous 2 posters don’t get that this is a comic piece, it’s a parody of Kevins WTF
Has anybody got a piece of chalk. Ffs the first line gave it away.
In honesty, a little tongue in cheek there, but as celtic fans we are well used to the real keevins spluttering his mouthful of codswallop at every turn.
There’s also an element of truth In the fact we have NOT replaced players who’ve exited, and myself and many others believe penny pinching is the narrative by our board.
As for the zealots of mordor, let’s be honest, they put out a very amateur team and not in a very convincing fashion.
Servette could have won the second leg by half time, except they were too poor a team to finish the orcs off.
PSV will destroy the mordor club in both legs….
We on the other hand have made a poor start yet still won through on both occasions.
Other players are being sought or arrived,
It’s up to brendan to make sure we don’t lose ground during the bedding in period for newbies….
I fully believe the zombies will be calling for Beales head over the next fortnight, especially if they are humiliated by PSV or lose ground further in the league…..and the Ross County game looks like a difficult one for them.
Come on psv….get them rumped malky mckay….hh
Usual blue nose claptrap, PSV will crucify them next week and finish the job the following, that’ll have the punters murmuring for Beales head, but buy the end of the first weekend of September they will be wanting it on a stick after losing the first derby.
As for Celtic penny pinching, better than £5m on a Brasilian duffer who couldn’t hit a barn door, Dessers booed by own fans and of course Jurgen diver Cantwell, money not so well spent.
The only reason you have had any positive results so far is because your a one man team with the Gers get out of jail card, Tavernier (best attacker you have had in years).
Hey Caveman,
When was the last time Seperate Entity FC won a 2 leg european tie. Must be coming on 20 years or so. If I was you I would keep very quiet or better still Shut up altogether
Hey Billy, when was the last time you were seen on an Ibrox Blog?
Very tetchy response Eric, Seems like it has hit a nerve my friend
Not tetchy. Just telling it like it is. You spend a lot of time on here. Do you make the same kind of comments on Ibrox Noise?
If required, Yes
Wow, that was informative. Tbanks Billy.