As the Ibrox penalty bingo bandwagon rolls into Celtic Park on Saturday, will Celtic avoid conceding a penalty, or will one finally be awarded against the Ibrox side?

On Saturday afternoon, the Messiah and his unbeaten Gumtree Galacticos will roll into Celtic Park for the Glasgow derby.

Some people might try to tell you it’s the O** F*** derby, but you know better.

The SMSM will have it plastered as such all over their titles in the run up to the game.

The last time that fixture was played was on April 29th 2012.

Like the club that died in 2012, so too did the O** F***.

Same club, same fixture?

Not on your life.

On Saturday afternoon, we will contest the Glasgow Derby against an 11 year old club.

If anyone tells you otherwise, they’re lying.

Such is the confidence of the great pretenders, they firmly believe they are on course to win their second title since the arrival of the Messiah.

In one of my articles last week, I alluded to the fact that we were labeled as the underdogs the last time we met them.

It would appear that Celtic are the underdogs once again.

Yes, you read that right, the team that won the treble last season, and has won four trebles since 2016, are the underdogs.

Now some might say that label has been applied to us because of our tendency to shoot ourselves in the foot when we’re in the ascendency.

And to some degree, they’re probably right.

We very much look like we’ve blown our toes off this season.

At times, we’ve very much resembled a team and a club that’s in freefall.

But, just like the Germans and the allies laid down their arms on Christmas day 1914, and wandered out of the trenches to fraternise with each other, it looks like the Celtic Board, the fans, and the manager have agreed to cease hostilities for the greater good over the festive period.

The Green Brigade are back at Celtic Park.

The team seems to be getting it together again, and getting the results on the park.

As for the board, they’re like the Generals and Field Marshals in Christmas 1914, lurking miles from the trenches, and watching on with tepid tolerance.

Don’t doubt that hostilities will resume once again before long at Celtic Park, because they will.

All it will take is another poor transfer window.

They couldn’t possibly mess this one up again, could they?

Don’t hold your breath.

Two years ago, we already had three new signings in the door.

This season, we have rumours.

Nothing more.

I’m digressing, I just can’t help it sometimes when it comes to the Celtic Board, but now is not the time to talk about them.

We need to talk about Saturday.

Why are we the underdogs?

Well, I’m going to play devil’s advocate here and say that we’re the underdogs because the visiting team has a distinct advantage over us.

They are afforded a luxury no other team in the Scottish Premiership is afforded.

They are immune to conceding penalties.

And of late, as we’ve all started to notice, they very rarely go through a fixture without being awarded one either.

If they do not concede one on Saturday, they will have gone 72 games in the Scottish Premiership without conceding a penalty.

That doesn’t just make us the underdogs, it makes every other team that plays them the underdog.

Do I see that changing on Saturday?

I’m tempted to say that I don’t, but there’s something gnawing at the back of my brain that I need to get out.

So, let me flesh it out, and it might make sense to you.

Nick Walsh is the referee for Saturday’s game.

Love him or loathe him, he is the best of a bad lot.

Yes, his allegiances have been questioned many times, but on the field of play, he seems to get a lot of his decisions right.

The VAR is one William Collum, looks a bit like Chris Martin’s uglier older brother, and isn’t the smartest of referees.

Thus proven by his ability to award penalties when he has back turned to the penalty box.

He seems to go with the flow, if you catch my drift?

In other words, despite his allegiances, which we’re aware of, he does not want to bite the hand that feeds him.

The hand that feeds him knows that they are under extreme scrutiny at the moment.

Not that they really care, they never have.

If they did, I wouldn’t be writing this article, and no Ibrox supporting referee would ever referee a game between us and them.

But, such is the level of corruption in our game, it’s doubtful we’ll ever see Scottish referees having to declare their allegiances.

However, Crawford Allan has to know it’s all starting to get a bit farcical now.

Ian Maxwell, who believes the Scottish game is in rude health, must also know.

Some of the SMSM are also starting to break ranks on this and call it out.

They need to divert attention away from this ever increasing statistic.

A statistic that could soon become a world record.

But how could they do that?

Well, let’s just say Celtic find themselves 2 goals down to the Ibrox side on Saturday.

Let’s just say it’s in the 91st minute and Celtic have no chance of getting a result.

Would it shock you if Celtic were awarded a penalty in injury time?

Would it shock you if Willie Collum called Nick Walsh to look at a shirt pull during a corner kick, which resulted in a penalty being awarded?

Moreover, would it shock you if the Ibrox players were told to make sure a Celtic shirt was tugged in injury time, if they found themselves with an unassailable lead?

It wouldn’t shock me.

Because based on what I’ve seen of late in our game, nothing would shock me.

But I do believe our upcoming game against them could be seen as a perfect opportunity to end the current scrutiny in relation to penalties not conceded for the Ibrox side.

If it did come to pass, then everybody would just say, “Well, there is no conspiracy, they conceded a penalty against Celtic. So this conspiracy theory that they don’t concede penalties in nonsense!”

Every other team in Scotland is paranoid, none more so than Celtic, nothing to see here, move along now.

Crisis averted.

I think you might get good odds at the bookies on this happening.

Or you might not.

Either way, I’d watch them.

Penalty bingo could get very interesting this weekend.

Just saying.

I’m also saying this, if the Ibrox side scores on Saturday, it will be from a penalty.

God help anyone who so much as lays a finger on an Ibrox player in the penalty box.

Lady Cantwell will be in spectacular acrobatic form, of that you can be sure.

Every slight infringement in the box will be scrutinised to the nth degree.

You can bet your bottom dollar on that.

Will we win the game?

I honestly cannot give a prediction on that.

If I didn’t have to worry about the subject matter in this article, then maybe I could have.

But there’s a reason they’re unbeaten since Philippe Clement took over.

Much of it is down to penalty bingo.

We have to hope that we have too much for them on Saturday, and that penalties will not come into it at all.

Either way, we will get to see what a master tactician the Messiah really is.

Brendan Rodgers seems to have a knack for stepping up to the plate on occasions like this.

He showed that last September, so did the players.

The Green Brigade are back.

The atmosphere needs to be like it was in February 2022.

These jokers always crumble under pressure.

We just have to make sure the pressure is unbearable for them on Saturday.

Do that, and Nick Walsh or Willie Collum won’t matter a damn.

They won’t matter a damn.