The epitome of Ibrox stupidity is to believe that Dodgy Dave King can halt their decline, and save them from Celtic’s dominance

Back in 2015, Dave King effectively destroyed any chances the Ibrox side had of long-term sustainability with his famous Beer Hall Putsch.

His takeover of the club was hailed in similar ways to Fergus McCann’s Celtic takeover a couple of decades previous.

The similarities ended abruptly there, though.

Ibrox fans saw King as their Shight in Knining armour.

They saw him riding in to rescue them from the evil clutches of Mike Ashley.

Ashley was determined to make the Ibrox operation a sustainable, and profitable operation.

Where the club would live within it’s means, and they would also have the luxury of having Newcastle United as a feeder club, where young Premier League prospects would get the chance to cut their teeth in the rough and tumble of the Scottish game.

However, such insanity was frowned upon by the glib and shameless liar, and his cohort of real Raynjurz men.

The club had to spend, spend, spend.

After all, that is what the previous entity did, and to be considered the same club, then King decided that they must spend in a similar fashion to the previous entity.

And so, without giving you a history lesson, you all know how that story ends.

But the Castlemilk conman hasn’t gone away, you know?

It seems that his appearances in the media are starting to become more and more frequent.

The SMSM are giving King a hell of a lot of airtime.

As recently as last weekend, there was an extensive article in the Record, stating how King was “stewing over R*****s fan rage”.

Because of course, that kind of thing never happened during his tenure at Ibrox, where things went swimmingly well.

Fans never raged, because Dodgy Dave delivered the 55, didn’t he?

A number he never tires of reminding us about.

Ironic, considering we’re about to make it meaningless as a result of the state his club is in.

Now, Dave loves big words and highfalutin sentences to make himself sound super-de-douperdy intelligent.

He likes to consider himself amongst the intelligentsia of Scottish high society, even though he lives in South Africa.

But what is most interesting about his latest diatribe, because really, that’s what it is, is that he speaks very highly of Chairman Bennett.

But before we get to that, we have to first admire his admirable defence of “Captain Disappointment 55”.

Dave has a serious soft spot for this guy because he delivered the hallowed 55.

A number made significant by none other than Dave himself, of course.

So all of an Ibrox persuasion must hail 55.

I have to say, even I was stirred by his staunch defence of his beloved skipper:

It is incredibly disappointing to hear that a small minority of supporters are letting their anger temporarily overcome them to the point of directing personal abuse at our players, we are all immensely disappointed at the performance of our team and its decline since title 55. That, however, is not the fault of the present team or the individual players who were approached to play for the club (not the other way round) and who are mostly doing their best. We all judge player performance – that is part of being an emotional supporter. We wish slower players to be faster, we wish less creative players to be more creative, etc. Ultimately it is the balancing of many factors that create a successful team. That is why player recruitment should assess multiple aspects, inter alia, the player’s technical ability, temperament, character (very important at Rangers), leadership, and team compatibility.

Now, I shall pause to dissect that particular segment of the statement by Lord 55.

And my dissection will consist of these thoughts, and inter alia (big word for big effect), my opinion being formed around Dave’s build up to his gushing praise of Chairman Bennett.

Here goes:

Recruitment under John Bennett has been utter shite, but that’s not the player’s faults, it’s his because he won’t splash the cash like I did.

My pockets were much deeper than his, and you can clearly see that now.

He’s a tight ass, I’m not.

You get the picture now?

Now we’ll continue with Dave’s hyperintelligent comments and anything concomitant to that:

Different skills sets are required to ensure a balance in any successful team. Any player signed by Rangers must assume that he passed that standard and thereafter must perform in accordance with his abilities and the manager’s instructions for any given game. Individual players cannot be held accountable if the combined result of recruitment and team preparation results in poor performance.

Here is my assessment of this statement:

All of the players signed in the summer window are of a substandard quality, if I had been in charge this would not have happened, I’ve got very deep pockets, you know?

They’re shite, but that’s not their fault, its John’s fault, since he wouldn’t provide the finance for anything better.

Now, someone such as a dim-witted, lowly blogger like myself can read between the lines here.

Dave is succinctly expressing that if Chairman Bennett wasn’t in-charge and he was, his beloved Ibrox club wouldn’t be in this mess.

They would, in fact, be well on their way to title number 56.

And of course, “Captain Disappointment 55” cannot, no, should not, be blamed for this current debacle.

Dave’s climax to his heartfelt outpouring of concern for his favourite hall of famer, and for the current state his beloved club now finds itself in is nothing, if not stirring.

Designed, no doubt, to pull at the heart-strings of those who wish for a return to the heady days of the Beer Hall Putsch.

And a Shight in Knining armour like the glib and shameless liar, riding in to save their club from the evil clutches of people who want it to live within it’s means, and become sustainable.

Such insanity should be stamped out for the folly that it is.

One would almost think that Dave is attempting to rally the troops for Beer Hall Putsch mark II:

Rangers supporters are loyal supporters. Turning on our captain, who has been 100 per cent loyal to Rangers and (memories are short) repeatedly saved us in key games for a decade, is the opposite of loyalty and I hope that most supporters will join me in condemning such behaviour. Supporter anger should not be directed at our team.

Our club finds itself in a largely self-inflicted decline but turning on our own players is not the Rangers way. I know John Bennett is devastated by current events and is working immensely hard behind the scenes. We have a challenging period ahead and need to pull together to get through it.

And here is my final assessment of Dave’s address to the Zombie nation:

Leave “Captain Disappointment 55” alone.

Supporter anger should be 100% aimed at John Bennett because he’s doing a shite job.

We’re knee deep in this shitshow because of him.

I am wallowing in the fact he’s squirming through this excremental period for the club, and I expect him to fail miserably, whereby I’ll sort everything out.

Dodgy Dave is hanging around like a bad smell lately, don’t you think?

Jumping on the bandwagon at every opportunity.

His delusion is starting to get the better of him, and he believes he can rally the deluded to get behind him.

King’s faux support of Chairman Bennett is just a smokescreen.

You don’t have to be a genius to figure out what he’s really saying.

His obsession with 55 and packs of cards is the driving force behind all of this.

Dave believes he personally stopped the 10IAR, and the goodwill that goes with that will help to expediate his return to the top at Ibrox.

He knows fully who his very select audience is.

He also thinks that they believe he can save them from Celtic’s dominance.

Just like he did before.

And right now, he’s making them pine for him.

Isn’t it just delicious?