Jefte to Chelsea and Igamane to Everton? What next? Celtic’s Yang to Real Madrid?

You’ve got to love the crazy Scottish Mainstream Sports Media, you’ve just got to.

But not because they’re loveable, simply because you love laughing at their fantasy Ibrox fairy tales.

Well, today is no different.

I always remember Jack Nicholson’s quip in As Good as it Gets.

Remember the scene where the Hispanic lady taking care of Greg Kinnear asks Nicholson to, ‘open his curtains so he can see God’s beautiful work…’?

Nicholson in as dour and dry a tone as he is expert at responds with a classic tirade which finishes with, ‘sell crazy some place else, we’re all stocked up here!’

Well, that’s what I feel like saying to the pultizer prize winning journalists in the SMSM.

Scottish football, is indeed, all stocked up on crazy.

But it just seems like the media feels like it isn’t stocked enough on crazy.

Then again, when you look at the readership they’re pandering to, I guess crazy is the order of the day.

It doesn’t get much better than today though.

Yes, today, we are being sold a new level of crazy, and being told that Chelsea are interested in signing Ibrox Brazilian superstar, Jefte.

Try not to laugh too hard, but a guy who is not six months in Scotland, after joining the Ibrox club from the Cypriot league, is now on Chelsea’s radar.

Yes, an especiales repuerta from Brazil states that Chelsea have approached the player’s representatives, who have in turn let Ibrox chiefs know of the interest in their player.

And if Chelsea come on down, and the price is right, Ibrox chiefs will listen to offers.

Hell yeah!

It took two award winning stenographers from the Record to write this ground breaking story.

Andy Newport and Scott Burns are going places in the world of journalism!

Taking names and selling crazy!

One wonders when the ‘bidding war’ will commence?

Because now that Chelsea are interested, it’s only a matter of time before the likes of Liverpool and Man City come calling, isn’t it?

And of course, EPL minnows Manchester United will surely declare their interest in Jefte after seeing him up close and personal last Thursday, surely?

Won’t they?

It gets better though.

Not only are Chelsea after Jefte, but Everton are now after Hamza Igamane.

Because a FORMER Everton insider ‘reckons the club COULD make a move for Igamane’.

This time, it’s Mark Pirie in the Record with the groundbreaking story.

Here’s the inside scoop on that one:

And after Dominic Calvert-Lewin was injured in the 1-0 Premier League win over Brighton at the AMEX Stadium last weekend, former Goodison Park scout Bryan King reckons David Moyes could be forced into the market before the end of the month with Igamane on the agenda. Speaking to Goodison News, he said: “If they have got the money, a deal could be agreed.

I don’t think Igamane would be cheap. However, now that Calvert-Lewin is injured, I imagine that Everton will be looking to get that deal across the line.

And of course Igamane wouldn’t be cheap.

£25 million and we’ll talk.

Now, who you might ask is Bryan King?

Well, picture Keith Wyness, the impeccable source you find coming up with all sorts of brilliant opinions on that wonderful website, Football insider.

A website, I might add, that probably couldn’t tell you what the inside of a football actually looks like.

Then look at Goodison News, another website that looks uncannily like Football Insider.

Same layout.

Same language.

Same guy giving his opinions all the time.

Bryan King, former Everton scout.

Keith Wyness, former Aberdeen CEO.

Football Insider:

Goodison News:

Catch my drift now?

Impeccable sources indeed.

So impeccable, that a National title decides their opinions are worth their weight in gold.

When, as we all know, these sites sell nothing but Crazy!

Whatever will we see in the news next?

Yang Hyun-Jun Real Madrid bound?

Maik Nawrocki on his way to Bayern Munich?

Or Luis Palma Barcelona bound?

I’m an impeccable source you know, just because I say it, it could happen.

Sell crazy someplace else.

We’re all stocked up here!