Celtic beware, they’ve found the new Barry Ferguson at Ibrox, and he’s gonna be there for the next 15 years!

All is well in the land of pishwasckery, fantasy, soothing lies, and moonbeams, with glowing reports from Ibrox this morning that they’ve found their new Barry Ferguson.

From Barry Ferguson, no less.

The ‘legendary’ skipper believes that new wunderkind, Bailey Rice, can be engineering in the engine room for the next 15 years.

At least.

Now is that the engine room subsidiary, or the Ibrox engine room?

They do seem fixated on all things mechanical over there.

I recall that mega Dave Murray once floated the idea, (excuse the pun) of a floating pitch.

And a casino, of course.

Whoops, I digress slightly.

Now, who you might ask, is Bailey Rice?

Well, Bazza has been waxing lyrical about the latest Ibrox prodigy this morning in the Record.

Now, I must admit, I hadn’t even heard of the guy before this morning.

But apparently he’s been making waves at Ibrox recently and big Phil has been trusting the superkid to get a taste of top team action with rest of the Ibrox action men’s heids.

He had a “composed and bright second half showing against Manchester United” at the Theatre of Dreams, where all aspiring young player’s dreams come true.

That was enough for Bazza, and it told him all he needed to know about the 18 year old.

So I guess that’s it then?

That’s the Ibrox engine room sorted for the next 15 years or so.

Of course, this sort of soothing pish would have nothing to do with the extremely quiet January transfer window at Ibrox?

Not at all, I’m sure.

I know I’ve been moaning about Celtic’s transfer business, but I guess I don’t really have much to moan about when I look over the fence, do I?

In other news, another Ibrox ‘legend’ has been in the papers today as well.

Ally McCoist has been doing his best to make all Celtic fan’s dreams come true.

Inadvertently of course.

Also in this morning’s Record, he is touting the return of former ‘legendary’ Ibrox manager, Stevie G.

Yes indeedy, the Record is full of legends this morning.

Now, we must not forget why Stevie G became a legend at Ibrox.

He won a title.

Yes a title.

During a pandemic, in empty stadiums, while Celtic were in free fall.

And all of his players were caffeined up to their eyeballs.

But who am I to question such a legend?

Here’s what McCoist had to say:

It wouldn’t surprise me if Steven Gerrard came back to Ibrox. He’s obviously held in really high regard by the supporters because of the league title he won, and his next job is going to be vitally important for him. Things haven’t gone according to plan for him after he left R*****s.

If only it were true.

All Celtic fans would love to see Slippy G back at Ibrox.

Because unlike dimwit Ally, we know he’s a fraud.

Just like they know he’s a fraud in Birmingham, and of course, Saudi Arabia.

But the klanbase and Ally think he’s legend, and the answer to all of their problems.

Because he won a title.

So there you have it.

Celtic beware.

A new engineer is emerging at Ibrox, and Bazza reckons he’ll go all the way.

Troubled times ahead for Celtic.

Combined with that, we’re in serious trouble if Stevie G returns.

Concerning times ahead.

Brendan must be beside himself with anxiety when he reads the morning papers these days with his morning coffee.

I’m sure he choked on his croissant when he saw Bazza’s glowing report of Bailey Rice.

Can you see them now, Brendan?

The R*****s are coming…

Again.

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