Barry Ferguson says the Ibrox fans are always right? Well, that righteousness is the reason they’ll never catch Celtic

Its great to have Barry Ferguson back writing his column in the Daily Record.

If I’m being honest, the Record sports desk was an altogether more boring place without him.

Not because I missed his literary genius, but simply because I missed his off the wall, batshit crazy meanderings.

Well today, they’re back in all their brown brogue, blazer wearing staunchness.

And when you read his article this morning, you can tell that he is desperately trying not to let his staunchness get the better of him.

Because Bazza knows that the man who took his job is the furthest thing from staunch.

And that just doesn’t sit well with him.

Now, Bazza won’t scream it from the rooftops how he feels about the Vegan, hippy, Buddhist type fellow.

He’ll just drop subtle hints, well, not so subtle, and apply pressure where he believes its needed.

In other words, the game against St. Mirren is now a ‘must win’ game.

Who’d have thought it?

We’re only on matchday 3 and its a must win game already.

No pressure.

But you know what?

Its nice for Barry Ferguson to be able to apply that pressure from the comfort of the sports desk.

Instead of having to listen to those Ibrox fans who are ALWAYS right.

Roaring abuse at you from the stands.

Walking out with 22 minutes on the clock after going 3-0 down.

Because when you’re ALWAYS right, that’s the best way to get behind your team and show them your staunch support.

At least as a Celtic supporter, I can say that’s one thing we’ll never resort to.

Yes, some of our fans may have started leaving Celtic Park last Wednesday night in injury time, but that was because they’d resigned themselves to the fact we wouldn’t score.

And in that instance, they were RIGHT.

It was just one of those nights.

You knew by half time it just wasn’t going to happen.

But one thing we would never do?

We would never desert our team in the 22nd minute of a contest, no matter how bad things were.

But hey, the Ibrox fans, according to Barry Ferguson, are always right.

So I guess in that instance they must be right too?

We’re always right and screw the consequences.

Screw the effect walking out in the 22nd minute might have on the players who you’re supposed to be supporting.

Because you’re always right.

You see, its that very righteousness, borne out of the egotistical hubris of a dead institution, which will ensure the Ibrox side will never catch Celtic.

Because no matter how bad we are, they will always be worse.

And right now, we’re pretty bad.

Yet they’ve still managed to conspire to put their season under threat in the opening three league games of the season.

If they lose at St. Mirren, and we win against Livingston tomorrow, they will be 7 points behind us going into the Glasgow Derby.

Add to that, they will probably have been on the end of another mauling in Belgium, and you have a recipe for the ultimate staunch righteousness to rain down from the stands on Sunday the 31st.

Imagine if we go one or two up early in the game, as poor and all as we are up front at the moment?

I mean, there is no doubt they’re expecting us to be as toothless upfront against them as we were against Kairat Almaty last Wednesday night.

So if we did something like that, they would lose the plot altogether.

If Bazza is applying pressure now for the St. Mirren game and they lose that, just imagine the pressure he’ll be applying going into the Glasgow Derby?

But here’s the thing.

Bazza, from the comfort of the sports desk at the Record, has little to no idea what the Americans are thinking.

He doesn’t know what kind of Kpi’s have been set for Russell Martin.

Rumour has it that Europa League qualifications was one.

Well, that box is ticked.

Then he has been tasked with second place at a minimum in the league and a good run in both Cup competitions.

Second place could be a stretch, but if he does well in either of the cups, then he has met 50% of his Kpi’s.

The question is, how willing or unwilling are the Americans, from the comfort of Delaware, to bow to the staunch righteousness from the Ibrox stands?

Well, I guess we’re going to see their resolve tested in the next 9 days or so, aren’t we?

But never fear.

Bazza will always be on hand at the Record sports desk to offer his sage advice to whatever poor misfortune is in the Ibrox dugout.

I’m sure he’s been itching to tell Mr. Martin that he should never have ditched those brown brogues.

And that he should sport a hairstyle akin to the one he did in his short Ibrox playing days.

And that Buddhism doesn’t marry up well with Protestantism.

Oh, and we mustn’t forget, all Ibrox affiliated employees should eat red bloody meat.

But no green jelly.

Ever.

But for now, Bazza will try to curb his staunchness.

He’ll wait until the shit hits the fan.

And when it does, he’ll shine the Baz-signal from the rooftop of Daily Record Hq on 55 Douglas Street.

The Americans will surely come calling then.

And Bazza can fix all of this mess they need never have created.

With shining brown brogues and his blazer a blazin’, all will be good and right in the world of Ibrox once more.

Now all Bazza has to do is wait for Mr. Martin to fall flat on his face.

His wish could come true pretty soon…