Keevins bets the house, the bank account, and the Grandchildren’s inheritance on a Hearts victory over Celtic tomorrow

Last weekend was a momentous weekend for Hugh Keevins because something as rare as hens teeth happened to the ‘veteran sports(shite)writer’.

One of his predictions actually came true.

Now, accurate predictions from Hugh Keevins are a rare phenomenon.

So, it’s hardly surprising that this one has gone to his head.

He’s beside himself with excitement that he finally got something right last Sunday morning when he wrote that he “wouldn’t have put two bob on Celtic winning at Dundee”.

For years now, Keevins has been predicting Celtic’s and Brendan Rodgers’ demise.

He’s a bit like the Wile E. Coyote, who we often refer to on the podcast and on our blogs, forever trying to catch the Roadrunner, but to no avail.

I watched many episodes of the Roadrunner when I was a kid, I don’t think I ever saw one in which Wile E. Coyote actually caught the Roadrunner.

If there is one out there, maybe you Celtic fans out there from my generation can point me in it’s direction.

Then again, if there was, I guess it would have to be a season finale.

Because if Wile E. Coyote caught the Roadrunner, then I guess that would be the end of the whole cartoon series, wouldn’t it?

Like Wile E. Coyote, I get the feeling Hugh Keevins feels like he’s finally caught the Roadrunner (Celtic) today.

Because there’s no doubting that if Wile E. Coyote caught the Roadrunner, it would be cause for huge celebration for him.

Reading Keevins’ article in the Record today, you get the feeling he’s lost the run of himself.

Last week he wouldn’t bet two bob on Celtic winning.

This week, well, just read it for yourself and you’ll see what I mean:

I wrote here last Sunday that I wouldn’t have put two bob on Celtic winning at Dundee – and I was spot on.

Today I would put my bank account, my house and the grandchildren’s inheritance on a Hearts victory because they are everything Celtic are not.

Well then, Hugh, put your money where your mouth is.

A statement like that, oozing false bravado, tells us exactly how ridiculous this ‘veteran sports(shite)writer’ is.

Because I can guarantee you that Keevins would not, in a million years, put all of those things on Hearts winning tomorrow.

That statement is the epitome of Keevins shitting the bed and going all in on a Hearts victory.

In fact, he has lost the run of himself so much, that he thinks the game at Tynecastle is on this afternoon.

He states as much towards the end of his article.

He also displays a ridiculously ignorant lack of understanding when it comes to the conflict between the Celtic fans and the board at the moment.

This particular statement tells us just how ignorant:

Fans are contemptuous of a board they accused of lacking “humility, awareness and accountability” in a press release.

The Celtic board is contemptuous of a fan base they keep at arm’s length, prompting a supporter to set up “Not Another Penny,” designed to stop the purchase of club merchandise and matchday catering in protest.

Promoting a supporter to set up “Not Another Penny”??

One supporter?

Keevins clearly thinks that the Celtic Fans Collective is an irrelevance.

In his mind, its a supporter.

I mean, this guy is supposed to be a journalist, but how utterly disconnected can you actually be?

That statement alone displays his stunning ignorance in all of it’s technicolour glory.

The fact that he claims he’s willing to bet his ‘entire fortune’ on a Hearts victory tomorrow is rather unfortunate for the Tynecastle side.

Keevins’ over exuberance after getting his Dundee prediction correct will ultimately put this kiss of death on Hearts’ chances.

For Keevins, I’m afraid lightning doesn’t strike twice.

Hearts fans are probably cursing him after reading his article this morning.

Never forget though, this guy has had it in for Celtic ever since Kenny Dalglish had him removed from the Celtic Supporters’ Association Social Club back in May of 2000.

He has waited for this moment for over a quarter of a century.

The moment where he could stick the boot into Celtic.

He has chosen to do it at a time where he knows Celtic as a club are hurting.

But Keevins, as usual, is jumping the gun.

He has written Celtic off many times before in the past, and each time he has, he’s got it spectacularly wrong.

Which means if Celtic secure a victory tomorrow, it’ll be all the sweeter after reading this Muppet’s idiosyncratic ramblings today.

He can’t even be bothered to recognise the Celtic Fans collective.

He wrote, without checking before going to press, that the Hearts v Celtic game was on this afternoon.

And he now pretty much believes that Hearts have got what it takes to wrestle the title from Celtic.

This guy then has the audacity to refer to himself as a ‘Veteran sportswriter and broadcaster with a distinctive style’.

Its distinctive alright.

Distinctively shite.

I had my reservations about Celtic winning at Tynecastle tomorrow.

Maybe, to a degree, I still do.

But after reading Keevins’ drivel today, combined with the encouragement I got from Thursday night’s performance against Sturm Graz, I’m quietly confident.

Quietly confident that we can make a fool of the Record’s ‘veteran sports(shite)writer’.

And quietly confident that we might surprise a few people tomorrow.

In fact, I’m now looking forward to tomorrow’s game.

Because a victory will give me the opportunity to shred this has been.

And believe me, I will take great pleasure in that!