Breaking! Water is wet, and Hugh Keevins gives Celtic a zero percent chance of winning the title

For the better part of this season, Hugh Keevins has been writing off Celtic’s chances of winning the title.

Today, in his Record column – so good that its behind a paywall now – he has reduced our chances to zero per cent.

He bases this on the very astute observation that we’re ‘not very good’.

His words.

Imagine having to pay for that opinion?

That wonderful insight.

Which is all well and good, until you consider that Celtic are the only side in Scotland in position to do a League and Cup double.

St. Mirren, our opponents today, are the only side in a position to do a League Cup and Scottish Cup double, just in case anybody wanted to call me out on that.

A double, but a different kind of double.

In reality, if I wanted to call Keevins out on his very questionable mathematics, I could say that Celtic – despite all of their failings this season – are only 3 points off top spot in the League.

By my estimation, that puts their chances – regardless of form – of winning the League at a tad higher than zero percent.

But we all know that Shug has a penchant for the dramatic when it comes to Celtic, so today’s outburst should come as no surprise.

He likes to see himself as a shock jock.

But due to his predictability, there’s about as much shock in Shug as an almost dead 9 volt battery, and much less in his jocks, but I’ll leave that one alone.

Keevins seems to think that our season is finished.

Zero per cent chance of winning.

Just because Martin O’Neill is playing down our chances of making the final after he stated that, “we’re not good enough to dream that far down the line.”

Now, Keevins claims to be a wily old codger, and if he was, he’d recognise Martin O’Neill’s consistent dry wit.

O’Neill is always at it.

The wry smile he struggled to contain after that comment tells us as much.

It is a deflection tactic, and clearly it worked wonders on Keevins.

He fell for it, hook, line, and sinker.

But it gets better, I had to contain myself when he tried to press home the fact he’s a shock jock.

Always trying to be controversial.

This statement made me laugh:

In my line of work, I don’t believe in constructing an opinion with the deliberate intention of avoiding confrontation.

Both barrels. At all times. That is my philosophy.

I listen to radio callers who, night after night, correctly say Celtic are “tepid,” or “scraping by”.

The problems arise, though, when a pundit like me says the same thing. For some reason, if I voice dismay and disbelief out loud it is unacceptable. Too bad.

Isn’t it funny how he always aims ‘both barrels’ at his feet?

In the way that he leaves himself wide open to be taken apart with every article he writes?

The reason its unacceptable to Celtic fans when Keevins constantly criticises Celtic is because its incessant.

He never stops.

It kills Keevins to give Celtic any form of praise, yet he showers it on the Ibrox side at every opportunity.

I’m not going to dissect the rest of his article.

But its safe to say that its another one of his usual eviscerations of Celtic, supplemented by the opinion of another empty vessel, Frank McAvennie.

‘Macca’, as Keevins fondly refers to hims as, says Celtic are ‘boring’.

Wow, more ingenious observations from the brain of Scottish football punditry.

Put Keevins and McAvennie together, and you get the very worst of the SMSM these days.

The fact that people now have to pay for Keevins’ drivel is an insult to every intelligent football fan out there.

I somehow doubt the Record are making a mint out his inane, vacuous ramblings.

In his other article yesterday, Keevins of course named the Ibrox side as his title favourites.

Shock of shocks!

Look, I’m wise enough to understand that Celtic do not appear good enough to win this title.

I understand that for most in the media out there, that is based very much on our performances of late.

Which are laboured and uninspiring.

Yet we’re still grinding out the results.

We’re still in this title race.

We are still in a position to win a domestic double.

To put our chances at zero per cent is idiotic, but then again, this is Hugh Keevins we’re talking about.

The difference between him, and Martin O’Neill, two septuagenarians, is that O’Neill is very intelligent in the way that he speaks.

There is generally an underlying meaning to a lot of what he says.

His dry wit is second to none, and he can turn it on someone at the drop of a hat if he wants to.

He wisely played down our chances against St. Mirren in his recent press conference because he’s old enough and wise enough to know we’re not playing great at the moment.

To come out with all guns blazing would be foolish.

O’Neill has made expectations realistic.

Keevins, on the other hand, jumped on his every word, and saw it as an opportunity to reduce Celtic’s chances of winning anything this season to the zero percentile.

Ask yourself this though.

Which one of the septuagenarians’ opinions do you trust?

The answer to that one is pretty simple.

Don’t you think?

Choose Read Celtic as a “Preferred Source” on Google News for quick access to the news you value.