They’re building Armitage Shankland up to be their saviour at Ibrox already – and they think this is causing Celtic fans to have a meltdown?
Armitage Shanks is going to destroy Celtic next season, is he??
Eric Knott 
GLASGOW, SCOTLAND - MAY 16: Hearts' Lawrence Shankland in action during a William Hill Premiership match between Celtic and Heart of Midlothian at Celtic Park, on May 16, 2026, in Glasgow, Scotland. (Photo by Craig Foy/SNS Group via Getty Images)
Lawrence Shankland is only in the door at Ibrox and they really are losing the run of themselves over there.
He gets it.
He’s been an Ibrox supporter since he was in nappies.
Indeed.
And best of all?
He has what it takes to be their captain.
Captain Disappointed has only just vacated the building, make way for Captain Staunch Saviour Shankland.
No pressure.
I’m afraid Lawrence will find that the weight of expectation at Ibrox is a tad higher than that of Tynecastle.
— 🇰🇵🇨🇳🇷🇺Tokyo Joe🇷🇺🇨🇳🇰🇵 (@TheBaldKyogo) May 27, 2026
And if he doesn’t meet said expectation, he might struggle to score goals.
As a result of the pressure, you know?
Captain Disappointed explained it quite eloqunetly back in the day.
Now (Armitage) Shanks is such a tough guy, he’d never come out with something like that in a match programme.
And he can heid the ball good and hard, and score loadsa goals.
He disnae like the Sellick either.
All of the above make for a winning formula, and of course, proper captain material.
So, there it is folks, (Armitage) Shanks will turn it all around for the Ibrox side.
They’re cummin, again.
At Tynecastle, when Danny Röhl shouted at Andrew Cavenagh that he needed leaders in his team, Cavenagh duly obliged.
They wanted their leader, now they’ve got their leader.
So there’s two big fore-heids in the dressing room now between the manager and the skipper in waiting.
Although Danny covers his with that wonderful mop of implants he has on his heid.
Now all Shankland has to do is hit the ground running and score loads of goals.
Just like proven Scottish Premiership striker Bojan Miovski did.
Or wait a minute, did he?
Eh no, he only bagged 7 goals in a not so prolific season for the 3rd placed team.
What I find hilarious about all of this is that the Ibrox fans are jizzing their pants thinking that we would somehow intimidated by Shankland’s signing.
Let me get this straight, right.
We’re supposed to be bricking it because they’ve landed a striker who will be 31 years old when the season kicks off?
A striker who one of our midfielders was as prolific as last season.
That’s supposed to be giving us sleepless nights?
Like I said at the outset of this article, they’re already placing serious pressure on his shoulders before a ball has been kicked in anger in the new season.
The SMSM is talking about him being captain material.
The klanbase sees him as their saviour.
The nemesis of Celtic.
We’ll see.
We always break them in the end.
There’s no doubt we’ll do it again.
We even broke Shankland’s Hearts when they should have had the title wrapped up.
When we were the weakest we’ve been in decades.
So yeah Armitage, bring it on.
BRING. IT. ON.
Key Takeaways
- Lawrence Shankland joins Ibrox amid high expectations as a potential captain.
- Fans are excited but pressure mounts given the need for performance.
- Comparison made to Bojan Miovski, who underperformed last season despite expectations.
- The article suggests Ibrox fans may overrate Shankland’s impact based on his age and previous performance.
- The rivalry with Celtic intensifies as Shankland becomes a focal point for the Ibrox side.
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Aodhán Ó Conchobhair 
What’s the betting the fat kant will be injured for most of his contract ?
As you say,Eric,he’ll be the wrong side of 30 by the time next season starts.
Every niggling injury taking forever to mend itself while the guy wae the arse of a heifer and a heid like a 50 bob cabbage piles on the pounds and dons the sweatsuit to try not to be as slow on the turn as that other world beater they got fae the Embra huns,Souttar.
Let’s all hope the phantom CEO of Paradise is suitably intimidated by this piece of transfer magic !
The media was choking for something to detract from us doing the double
Hence all the hyperbole about this ‘ Blockbuster ‘ signing
Now they’re back to running nonsense articles about the Motherwell handball
So predictable
They’re not right in the fucking head,Eric… they’re just a big pus-filled hairy septic boil on the arse of decent society.
🤷