Oliver Glasner to Celtic? Dream on…

Fresh off the back of his Europa Conference League final with Crystal Palace, Oliver Glasner is soon to be a “free agent”.

Which has tempted some outlets to suggest that he might be interested in becoming the next permanent Celtic manager.

Bollocks.

Paddy Power currently has him in 11th place with 16/1 odds on him taking over from Martin O’Neill.

Needless to say, Football Insider have jumped on this and created a story out of thin air.

Let me get something straight here.

The Celtic board does not have the ability, the drive, or the inclination to go after a manager like Oliver Glasner.

Firstly, it would involve a substantial amount of money.

Secondly, we know the Celtic board is only interested in accumulating substantial sums of money.

Not spending them.

As Bhoycie pointed out on his podcast last night, and I also pointed out recently on the blog, Celtic could land north of £50 million for the sales of Reo Hatate, Daizen Maeda, and Arne Engels alone.

Then if we manage to avoid an Almaty f*** up in our Champions League qualifier, we could land another £40 million.

So, that’s a possible £90 million in the Celtic coffers if we play our cards right.

The £50 mill is almost guaranteed.

Not so sure about the £40 mill from the Champions League.

I have PTSD when it comes to that.

It’s not going away any time soon.

Even if we do manage to bank that amount of cash, the likelihood of the Celtic board splashing out big money on an “Elite level” manager like Oliver Glasner is somewhere between Bob Hope, and no hope.

You just know before this season begins that it’s going to be one of two things.

Totally mind-blowing.

Or utterly underwhelming.

It will most likely be the latter.

Outside that, it could be stick with the safe option.

That option being current Celtic icon, Martin O’Neill.

Like Bhoycie, I could live with that, but part of me wants to see Martin O’Neill tell them to shove it.

O’Neill, as far as I’m concerned, has nothing left to prove.

I really do hope he’s smart enough to see that.

Should he choose not to be a human shield for the board for another year, what are we then faced with?

Well, certainly not Oliver Glasner.

If the Celtic board and their puppet master golfer are hell bent on continuing on their mission to piss off Celtic supporters, it will the bookies favourite outside Martin O’Neill, Robbie Keane.

I will tell you here and now, and I have the utmost confidence in saying this, Robbie Keane will be a miserable failure.

An appointment akin to that of Tony Mowbray.

Not only does he have questionable past employment, as we all know, he could not prevent a team the size of Kilmarnock from taking his Ferencváros side’s Nemzeti Bajnokság I (Hungarian Top Flight) title.

Keane’s Ferencváros side also lost out on their 8th title in a row.

The only reason he would end up at Celtic is because he’s Irish, and because of Dermot Desmond.

No other reason, and nobody else bar Desmond would want him at Celtic.

And he’d probably do it just to piss us all off.

But right now?

This is where we’re at.

Wanting Martin O’Neill to tell the board to shove it, but at the same time being content with the idea of him staying.

If he does tell the board to shove it, then we’re all dreading the idea of Robbie Keane.

As for Oliver Glasner?

If that was real, it would be great.

But it’s not, and we know it’s not, despite what Foosball Shitsider says.

Instead, we’re being left to stew by our incompetent board.

While they dally and dither, and wonder what instruction the absent golfing meddler in Barbados is going to fax to them.

Meanwhile, 50+ plus players are inbound at Ibrox, while at Celtic Park it’s….

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…

Wait a second, was that a fax machine I just heard cranking up?

Alas no, it was the sound of Silent Mike’s world class coffee machine as he doses himself in caffeine in an attempt to keep himself conscious while he waits for the fax machine to come to life.

A world class CEO for a world class football club.

Aren’t we just blessed?

Jesus wept.