While civil war bubbles under the surface at Celtic, the Ibrox side will look to take advantage of the chaos…

So Andrew Cavenagh is at it again, this time over at the BBC.

The Ibrox chairman has poured his heart out to BBC Sport, telling us all that Rangers 1872 “occupies 150% of my thoughts”.

150%, peepul.

Not 100. Not 110.

One hundred and fifty.

And then this, on finishing third and sacking everybody:

“The disappointment is real, and it was incredibly disappointing.”

“Incredibly disappointing.”

Are they for real??

I’ll be honest – “incredibly disappointing” as the official verdict on a season where you’ve binned three of your own management team in twelve months is something else entirely.

The bar for disappointment at Ibrox is apparently set very, very low.

And before you laugh too hard – and trust me, I laughed – stop, and think for a minute.

Because that is roughly the exact percentage of thought that the board at Celtic Park has not given to running this club for the last six months.

Make no mistake.

While Cavenagh and his 49ers boys are sitting in a room dissecting every single thing that went wrong last season, our absent golfing meddler is still on the eighteenth green in Barbados.

While Paraag Marathe is on a board call doing the post-mortem on Russell Martin, Patrick Stewart, Kevin Thelwell and a third placed finish, Brian “Unity” Wilson is on Celtic TV waffling about a fans forum.

You see where this is going?

The Ibrox chairman and owner is talking about “molecular level” commitment, while ours can’t be arsed to leave Barbados half the time.

Cavenagh’s BBC chat is laughable in places.

Of course it is.

“This club gets into you at the molecular level. And, once it’s done, you’re done.”

Molecular level??

The man has owned the place for twelve months.

Twelve.

His club has just finished third in the Premiership, behind us and Hearts, after losing four of their final five.

And he’s out here talking like a man who has been sitting on the steps of the Bill Struth Main Stand since 1872.

Granted, he is good at PR.

I’ll give him that.

But the bit that should make every single one of us sit up and pay attention is what comes next.

“The disappointment this year is very real for us, but all it’s done is provide motivation for us going forward.”

“Motivation going forward.”

Read that back.

Not “we’ll try harder.”

Not “we’ve learned our lesson.”

“Motivation going forward.”

That is corporate-speak for: we are coming, and we have taken notes.

Mark my words – those are not the words of a man who is going away.

Those are the words of a man who has already started the whiteboard.

The 49ers boys are not going to make the same mistakes twice.

These people are not Mike Ashley.

They are not King and Murray, with a tax bill in one hand and a press release in the other.

They are an NFL ownership group, with a Premier League CEO they’ve already binned, an English head coach they’ve already binned, and a sporting director they’ve already binned.

All three.

Gone.

In twelve months.

Sorted. Done. Logged. Moved on.

Because that is how they operate now.

The clear-out is done.

Their lessons have been logged.

And right now, while we eat ourselves alive over Martin O’Neill, Robbie Keane, Craig Bellamy and Shaun Maloney, Cavenagh and Marathe are sitting in a room with a whiteboard and a list.

A list that says: never again.

Meanwhile, at Celtic Park, the civil war rages on.

The puppet master golfer can’t even be bothered turning up to a meeting in London on time.

His Martin O’Neill talks have been “pushed back”.

Nudged back.

A wee delay.

The Silent Mike “world class” coffee machine is doing the hard yards, again, while the manager’s office sits empty.

Brian “Unity” Wilson is being “interim” in the way Celtic has always defined interim – which is to say, he’ll be there until the sun burns out.

Chris McKay is sneaking another price hike through the back door, because of course he is.

And the supporter base is openly tearing strips off itself on social media every single day.

This board against that board.

Martin O’Neill loyalists against the “time to modernise” brigade.

Green Brigade against the directors’ box.

Season ticket renewers against season ticket boycotters.

You name it, we’re fighting about it.

It’s a civil war alright.

And the absent golfing meddler isn’t lifting a finger to stop it.

Why would he?

And while we eat ourselves alive, the Ibrox club is quietly hoovering up Scottish leaders.

Armitage Shankland.

Liam Kelly, John Souttar, Findlay Curtis – all booked on the same Scotland plane, all stepping off straight into a “pro-Scottish bias” recruitment drive that Cavenagh has basically pre-announced.

Two players roughly equal?

Pick the Scottish one.

Convenient, isn’t it??

That is a chairman who has done his homework on the SMSM, the Stenography Corps, and the “Once a Ranger, Always a Ranger” brigade – and decided to feed them exactly what they want to be fed for the next twelve months.

Because he knows the noise it creates.

And he knows that noise will land at Celtic Park like a brick through the front window, while our board are still trying to find the door handle.

Make no mistake – the Raynjurz are cummin again, peepul.

Only this time, the man behind the curtain is not Stevie G.

Or Big Eck.

Or Derek “Siege Mentality” McInnes.

It’s a hard-eyed American who has just had his ego handed back to him on a tray, and is now in “never again” mode with the full backing of an NFL franchise.

And our answer to that is Brian “Unity” Wilson on Celtic TV and a cardboard cut-out in the CEO’s chair.

Amateurs.

Get it sorted, board. The Ibrox side is not going to beat themselves this time.

I am ranting into the void about a very real problem.

We can sit here all summer mocking “molecular level”, and trust me, I will.

We can laugh at break clauses, at Captain Disappointed’s replacement jetting in from Portugal, at every single Daily Record stenography piece that drops between now and August.

I will be first in the queue to laugh, absolutely.

But every single laugh has to come with a warning.

Cavenagh and the 49ers have logged this season.

Every chaotic minute of it.

And they are logging ours right now.

The recruitment chaos.

The interim chairman who isn’t interim.

The CEO who – and I’ve said this before – a cardboard cut-out could replace without anyone noticing.

The Director of Football role that doesn’t exist.

The 74 year old still in charge while talks get pushed and nudged and delayed.

All of it.

While they sit in a room learning lessons, our board is sitting in a villa pouring drinks.

And, mark my words, if we don’t get this f***ing sorted this summer, the “molecular level” chairman, the NFL boys and the “pro-Scottish bias” squad will be more than happy to come and collect.

Get a manager.

Not “talks are ongoing”.

Not “pushed back to next week”.

A manager.

In a dugout.

This week.

Get a Director of Football.

Then get a recruitment list that doesn’t consist entirely of names Robbie Keane’s agent emailed over.

Get a proper chairman – not Brian “Unity” Wilson doing his best impression of a man who has no intention of ever leaving.

And do it now.

Because the Ibrox side are paying attention.

They are logging every day of this.

Every missed appointment, and every “nudged back” headline.

Every day Silent Mike’s “world class” coffee machine does the hard yards while the manager’s office sits empty.

All of it.

In a folder.

Labelled: “Celtic, Summer 2026.”

Six-in-a-row is still on.

But it doesn’t happen by accident.

Get it f***ing sorted.

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