Celtic reality makes Daily Record’s £18m Rangers valuation fantasy look ridiculous

There are Rangers stories, there are puff pieces, and then there is the kind of breathless nonsense that makes you wonder whether the Daily Record is reporting Scottish football or desperately trying to tell Rangers supporters exactly what they want to hear.

Apparently, Rangers now have a squad worth £18million more than Celtic.

Yes, seriously.

The Daily Record tells us that Rangers’ squad value has “rocketed past Celtic”, with seven of Scotland’s ten supposedly most valuable players now residing at Ibrox.

What an extraordinary transformation.

Forget trophies. Forget European football. Forget actual transfer fees.

Get the imaginary chequebook out. Transfermarkt has updated some numbers.

Another Rangers valuation fantasy gets the big headline

Let’s establish what has actually happened.

Nobody has deposited these millions into Rangers’ bank account.

These aren’t completed transfers.

They aren’t guaranteed selling prices.

They’re estimated market values produced by Transfermarkt.

Yet somehow that has been transformed into a Daily Record headline declaring Rangers have “rocketed past Celtic”.

Why?

Because “website updates estimated player valuations” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.

Wrap those estimates in another Rangers-versus-Celtic headline, though, and suddenly you’ve got exactly the kind of clickbait that generates arguments, shares and traffic.

It’s painfully transparent.

Kent and Morelos should have killed this nonsense years ago

Perhaps the funniest part is that we’ve already seen how meaningless enormous theoretical valuations can become.

Transfermarkt once valued Ryan Kent at €17.5million.

Alfredo Morelos reached €15million.

That’s a combined estimated market value of €32.5million.

How much did Rangers eventually receive when those two players left Ibrox?

Nothing.

Zero.

Both departed on free transfers in 2023.

That’s the rather enormous hole in this kind of breathless valuation story.

You can type whatever estimated number you want beside a player’s name.

Until somebody actually pays it, it remains an estimate.

Rangers learned that lesson painfully with Kent and Morelos.

Apparently the Daily Record needs reminding.

Where exactly are these millions?

The Record article tells us Emmanuel Fernandez is supposedly Scotland’s most valuable player at £13.6million.

Nicolas Raskin is apparently worth £12.7million.

Youssef Chermiti gets another enormous theoretical price tag.

Brilliant.

Where’s the money?

Where are the completed transfers establishing those prices?

Where is the concrete evidence that Rangers could put these players on the market tomorrow and collect those figures?

That’s the problem.

Estimated market value and actual transfer value are not the same thing.

Yet dress those estimates up in a sensational headline and suddenly Rangers have supposedly “rocketed past Celtic”.

Meanwhile Celtic have been collecting something real

There is another inconvenient subject that doesn’t require estimated valuations.

Trophies.

Celtic entered this season having won five consecutive Scottish league championships.

Five.

Rangers won nothing last season.

Nothing.

Then there’s Europe.

Rangers were eliminated from Europa League qualifying by Jagiellonia Białystok.

They dropped into the Conference League and were subsequently eliminated by Jablonec.

Their European campaign was finished before September.

Celtic are playing Europa League football.

Those aren’t valuations.

They aren’t algorithms.

They aren’t somebody’s opinion about what a footballer might theoretically fetch.

They actually happened.

Yet we’re expected to swallow the idea that Rangers possess a squad worth £18million more than Celtic because a football database currently estimates that they do?

It’s ridiculous.

The Daily Record chooses how to sell the story

And this is where my biggest criticism lies.

Transfermarkt is perfectly entitled to produce market-value estimates.

That’s what it does.

The Daily Record decides how those figures are presented to its readers.

“Rangers squad value rockets past Celtic” isn’t exactly a cautious explanation of the limitations surrounding estimated player values.

It’s another enormous Rangers-over-Celtic headline.

The numbers haven’t been tested by actual sales.

The money isn’t sitting in Rangers’ bank account.

Nobody has handed over £13.6million for Fernandez.

Yet apparently Rangers have “rocketed” beyond Celtic.

Give us a break.

We’ve heard these fantasy figures before

Rangers supporters spent years hearing about the fortunes supposedly attached to players such as Kent and Morelos.

Then reality arrived.

Transfermarkt’s historical figures provide a brutal reminder.

Kent: €17.5million.

Morelos: €15million.

Eventually received by Rangers when they left?

£0.

That’s not an attack on Transfermarkt.

It’s simply proof of something incredibly obvious.

Estimated market value does not equal an actual transfer fee.

Celtic have the trophies – Rangers have the spreadsheet

Celtic’s recruitment isn’t beyond criticism.

Far from it.

But this particular comparison is laughable.

Five consecutive league championships against no trophy last season.

Europa League football against Rangers being eliminated from Europe before September.

Real achievements against theoretical valuations.

Yet somehow the big story is Rangers “rocketing” £18million beyond Celtic.

Perhaps reality didn’t provide the Rangers-friendly headline required.

So forget the trophy cabinet.

Forget Europe.

Forget Kent and Morelos leaving for absolutely nothing after once carrying enormous estimated valuations.

The spreadsheet has spoken.

Rangers are apparently £18million richer in imaginary transfer money.

Congratulations.

Unfortunately, football clubs can’t bank Transfermarkt valuations.

And Rangers, of all clubs, should know that better than most.