It’s bad when the Celtic board give Hugh Keevins the opportunity to get absolutely everything right in an article…

They say a stopped clock is right twice a day.

Hugh “Nostradamus” Keevins is normally lucky if he manages it once a calendar year.

And yet here we are.

Sunday morning, the Daily Record drops, and there’s Old Shug’s latest column on the Shaun Maloney and Mark Fotheringham situation.

I read it.

Then I read it again.

Then I had to go and put the kettle on.

Because somewhere between the opening paragraph and the closing line, Hugh “Nostradamus” Keevins – the man who told us last April we had a “zero per cent” chance of winning the title – has managed to get absolutely every single word of an article spot on.

I shit you not.

When Old Shug is the one telling Silent Mike to wise up, this board are in trouble.

Make no mistake.

This is the same Hugh Keevins I’ve spent years documenting on this site.

The same Hugh Keevins who has spent every available column inch in the Daily Record hammering this club for one thing or another.

The same Hugh “Nostradamus” Keevins whose predictions on Celtic over the years would make a dartboard look forensic.

That Hugh Keevins.

And he has, on this occasion, written what I would consider to be a near-perfect summary of the current state of affairs at Celtic Park.

Let that sink in.

It is that bad.

Let me lay it out for you, in his own words.

“If, as has been suggested, Celtic are trying to get Shaun Maloney and Mark Fotheringham to assist O’Neill on financially-reduced contracts, the idea is as shameful as it is stupid.”

Indeed.

“And I would go so far as to say O’Neill should not have agreed to his new deal before exercising his clout and ensuring his invaluable allies had also been looked after by the club.”

Indeed.

“Celtic’s chief bean counter, finance director Chris McKay, might understand spread sheets but he appears to have an impoverished grip on what makes a football team successful.”

Most definitely Indeed!!

“A league and Cup Double was won by a trio at Celtic Park last season. Martin without the other two doesn’t work.”

Indeed, Hugh.

Indeed.

I never thought I’d see the day.

Typing indeed under Hugh “Nostradamus” Keevins.

And meaning every last one of them.

But here we are.

You can read Friday’s piece for the full back-story.

If you haven’t already, my piece from Friday on the original “take it or leave it” insult to Maloney and Fotheringham lays it all out.

The salvage job from January.

The Double delivered in spite of the chaos behind the scenes.

The two men St. Martin himself credited as being absolutely central to every bit of it.

And the boardroom response from Silent Mike, the absent golfing meddler and the spread-sheet man.

A “take it or leave it”.

Sad, but true.

Now Old Shug has picked up the same baton and run with it in the Daily Record, and he’s used words like “shameful”, “stupid”, “dereliction of duty” and “betrayal of the club’s support”.

Hugh Keevins.

Writing those words.

About our board.

In the Daily Record.

Stop the bus.

Correction, I think the bus has already slammed into a wall at this point.

Let’s be honest here, that is the level we are at.

The Celtic board have done something so monumentally stupid that they have managed to drag Hugh “Nostradamus” Keevins of all people onto the right side of the argument.

Hugh Keevins.

On the right side.

Of an argument about Celtic.

That takes some doing.

That takes real skill.

You almost have to admire the audacity.

Almost.

Because on a normal week, Old Shug is the man we’d expect to be carrying the water for Silent Mike and the puppet master golfer in Barbados.

This week, he’s the one telling them they’re an embarrassment.

Convenient, isn’t it??

Meanwhile across the city, “Cavenagh and the 49ers boys” – the molecular level chairman and his NFL pals – are out signing people up to three-year deals.

With a whiteboard.

And a list.

Before the ink is dry on their porridge.

And our board?

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…

Wait, was that a fax machine I heard cranking up?

Alas no, it was the sound of Chris McKay’s calculator running the numbers on whether he can shave another fifty grand off the assistant manager’s package.

A “world class” finance director for a “world class” football club.

Aren’t we just blessed?

Get this f***ing sorted.

There is no nuance here.

There is no spin.

Nor is there any reading-between-the-lines required.

When Hugh “Nostradamus” Keevins is the one telling the Celtic board they are an embarrassment to the support, then you – the support – are already several steps ahead of him.

Pay the men.

For Christ’s sake, just pay them what they are worth.

Pay them what they have earned.

Renew the contracts of Maloney and Fotheringham.

On the level of recompense they have already proved they deserve.

And stop messing about with the men who saved your bacon in January.

It is not complicated.

It really, really isn’t.

And if Silent Mike, the absent golfing meddler and the spread-sheet man cannot grasp that – when even Old Shug has grasped it for them – then frankly we are in even more trouble than I thought.

Get it sorted.

End of.

Six-in-a-row incoming, peepul – assuming the board don’t lose us the coaching staff first.

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