Uncle Barry might not say it, but the SMSM will say it for him – Lewis Ferguson is the latest man ‘jetting in’ to stop Celtic’s six-in-a-row bid

Well, well, well…

Here we go again.

According to Scott McDermott over at the Daily Record, Lewis Ferguson of Bologna is going to be the “difference-maker” in the Ibrox side wrestling the title away from Celtic.

The difference-maker???

Stop the bus.

Let me get this straight.

A 26 year old midfielder, who has just come back from a serious ACL injury and an indifferent season in Serie A, is the man who is going to stop the six-in-a-row.

Is he??

I shit you not.

A Record hack talking up his own colleague’s nephew as the second coming.

The man writing this puff piece is one Scott McDermott.

A Record Sport colleague of a certain Barry Ferguson.

And Barry Ferguson – EBT £2.5 million – just so happens to be the boy’s uncle.

So we’ve got a Record hack talking up his own colleague’s nephew as the second coming.

You genuinely couldn’t write this shite.

Bollocks, the lot of it.

Oh wait.

He just did.

His uncle Barry might not want to say it publicly. Understandable, I suppose, given that this isn’t just about R*****s. It’s about family.

It’s about family.

Indeed.

So Barry can’t say it – because that would be a tad awkward – so his pal Scott says it for him.

Convenient, isn’t it??

So what, exactly, is the fantasy fee this time?

Well, that depends on which SMSM stenographer you ask.

Scott reckons “£10million to get Ferguson on a plane home”.

Bhoycie, in his fantastic article on Read Celtic, was hearing £17 million.

Ten. Seventeen. Pick a number.

Because this is the same Ibrox club that finished third last season after a £40m spend.

The same Ibrox club that needs to sell Nico Raskin, and maybe Thelo Aasgaard, just to think about it.

The same Ibrox club dangling Connor Barron across the table as a makeweight because the cash isn’t there.

Sell two to buy one.

The 49ers must be some operators.

And credit to Bhoycie, because he made a point on this that stuck with me.

Instead of laughing the £17 million story out of the room, he asked a different question.

Why is it never us?

Why can third-placed Ibrox conjure that kind of money out of thin air, while our own board – sitting on £77 million and a Champions League bounty – treats a £12 million bid like it’s the crown jewels?

He’s not wrong.

Because every pound is a prisoner in Desmond’s world.

But that, as they say, is an article for another day.

Back to the fantasy at hand.

Here’s my favourite part of the whole pantomime.

They haven’t even signed the man, and the SMSM are already comparing him to Callum McGregor.

Ferguson ticks all of those boxes, in the same way that Callum McGregor has at Celtic for countless seasons now.

Are they for real??

Callum McGregor.

A one-club man, a treble-winning captain, a boy who has lifted more silverware than the entire current Ibrox squad combined.

And Scott McDermott is lining him up alongside a lad who couldn’t hold down a place at Bologna last season.

Give me a f*****g break.

And of course – of course – there’s the small matter of the captain’s armband.

The clincher could be the captain’s armband. Why not?

Why not indeed.

Dangle the armband, wave the boyhood-fan flag, roll out uncle Barry’s war stories, and Bob’s your uncle.

Or Barry’s your uncle, in this case.

The emotional pull of that club.

We’ve heard all of this before, haven’t we??

Then there’s the World Cup line, which they’re really leaning on.

Apparently our man from Bologna was “the ONLY Scotland player to enhance his reputation in America”.

The only one.

At a World Cup.

That Scotland actually qualified for.

Wonders never cease.

Now, I’ll give McDermott this – Ferguson is a decent player, and on his day he’s a good midfielder.

Nobody’s pretending otherwise.

But “the difference-maker in R*****s winning the title”?

The man who ends the six-in-a-row?

Pull the other one… It’s got bells on.

Let’s be honest here about what this really is.

This is rebuild number 16 in 16 years.

And Sevco are still looking for it somewhere in the dark recesses of Ibrox.

Every summer it’s the same routine.

A “leader” who “gets it” and a boyhood fan with “steel and presence” who’s going to change everything.

A signing of the summer, before he’s even had a medical.

And a compliant press pack – the Stenography Corps – ready to tell us all that the Raynjurz are cummin.

Of course they will.

They always do.

So, difference-maker, or SMSM fantasy?

You already know the answer.

Mark my words – if they somehow scrape the money together, Ferguson will run around for the Ibrox side, he’ll score his fair share, and he’ll no doubt get a soft one off Brother Beaton along the way.

But the title?

The title is staying right where it is.

At Celtic Park.

Keep warming up the landing strip at Auchenhowie, peepul.

We’ll be waiting.

Six-in-a-row.

End of.

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