‘Bring back Tav, he’s still a free-agent’, Celtic fans in hysterics as Tav-pen is touted as the solution to all of Staunch Del’s problems!

Three competitive games in and the meltdown continues at Ibrox.

In his first six competitive games at Ibrox, Russell Martin recorded 2 wins, 3 draws, and 1 loss.

Staunch Del cannot even match that now, because he’s already had 2 losses.

With a few more hairy-scary results probably in the pipeline if the upcoming fixtures are anything to go by.

The Ibrox side face Jagiellonia Bialystok at home this coming Thursday evening, followed by the visit of in form St. Mirren in the League Cup at 4pm on Sunday.

St. Mirren are the only side besides ourselves to have a 100% record competitively so far.

With the way things are going at Ibrox, they’ll no doubt smell blood, and fancy their chances in Sunday’s League Cup tie.

The Ibrox side trail Polish side Jagiellonia 2-1 after their first leg in Bialystok last Thursday.

If they lose this one on Thursday night, the meltdown will transform to anarchy.

The atmosphere on Sunday will be toxic, and St. Mirren will definitely look to take advantage of that.

While all of this is comedy gold for us Celtic fans, it’s also been peak hilarity in the media.

Yesterday’s defeat to Hibs has gone down like a fart in a spacesuit.

Celtic fans are really enjoying it, but the Hibs fans are also making the most of it too.

And who can blame them?

That’s two wins at Ibrox in a row for them.

No mean feat.

Kudos to the boys at The Hibs Ramble, I have to say I enjoyed their latest post on X thoroughly.

Have a look for yourselves below:

🎥 🥬 The Rangers 1-2 Hibernian.

The Rambles Alternative Angle…

Enjoy x pic.twitter.com/D3ZoynrOYU

— The Hibs Ramble 🎙 (@TheHibsRamble) August 9, 2026

I have to say that one made my Monday.

Monday’s after a weekend like the weekend just gone are the best.

Watching all of the fun unfold on social media and in the SMSM makes an otherwise despised day fly by.

But then I clicked into the Record, and true to form, they gave me an Ibrox story that was too good to pass up.

As stories go, this one’s a doozy.

The headline goes like this: R*****s made to ‘regret’ James Tavernier transfer exit as Connor Goldson warning resurfaces

I shit you not.

Things are so bad after three competitive games that the media are plugging a return for Tav-Pen.

Who, as it happens, is conveniently still a free agent.

None other than former Republic of Ireland International, Andy Townsend, had this to say about Tavernier on talkSport:

Do you know what Jeff (Stelling), I’ve just seen there that James Tavernier is (still) a free agent after leaving the club.

He scored all those goals (for R*****s), which was remarkable for the position he was playing. I just wonder whether or not that decision is one that, don’t know, would they regret that one?

You know what the funny thing about that is?

This is something you could actually see happening.

You could genuinely see Staunch Del sending out an SOS to Tav-Pen to come and save their already floundering season.

Because apparently, they were warned, you know?

By none other than Tav’s best mate, Conor Goldson.

Here’s what he had to say back in 2023:

This football club won’t appreciate James Tavernier until James Tavernier’s not here.

For a right-back to do the numbers he does… it’s not one season, it’s year after year after year. He started this season slow, I don’t think he scored many at the start but he’s on a hot streak now and long may it continue. The main thing about playing for this football club is adding numbers to the board. That board was there long before we were here and will be there a long time after, so to say you’ve had a part in adding numbers on to that is obviously huge.

Honestly, it would be peak banter years if Tavernier was to come back.

But think about this….

Staunch Del’s worst nightmare could be about to unfold in real time in the next week or so.

The man who today was compared to none other than Jurgen Klopp, could be out of two competitions already, and floundering in another by 6pm next Sunday.

I know they’re just three competitive games into the season, but if the Ibrox side are knocked out of the Europa League by Jagiellonia Bialystok on Thursday night, and then knocked out of the League Cup on Sunday by St. Mirren, McInnes is in serious trouble.

Relegated to a play-off in the Conference League against Jablonec or Latvian side, RFS, this would be the ultimate humiliation for McInnes.

Then if that’s followed up by a loss in the League Cup, you would have to say that McInnes’ staunch blazer would be on a shoogly peg.

Along with his platform brown brogues, both could be living on the edge of a Collection 4 Clothes clothing bank.

How would he survive exiting two competitions already, and trailing the League leaders by 5 points this early?

We know there’s zero patience at Ibrox, but even that would drive us over the edge at Celtic.

So, how could McInnes possibly survive it?

We’re not even two full weeks into the new season, and it could be curtains for Del.

But hey, there’s always Tav-Pen!

All Del has to do is light up the Tav-signal, and Tav is sure to return to his spiritual home!

The banter years just keep on coming.

Don’t stop.

Please, don’t stop.

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