If Celtic want Michael Noonan that badly, then Desmond’s Shamrock Rovers connections should make it happen

I think its fair to say that Celtic’s inactivity is becoming more alarming with each passing day in the January transfer window.

Everybody is surmising why it is that we can’t land a single transfer.

Is it down to the fact our reputation is shot?

Or is it because players are wary now of coming to the club because of the board?

On the other hand, is it because agents do not want to deal with a rank amateur like Michael Nicholson?

We’re hearing stories of clubs laughing at Celtic, scoffing at derisive bids.

We’re hearing hard luck stories every day about players we’re missing out on because someone else beat us to the chase.

One thing we can guarantee is that we are not hearing about any players joining the club.

Yesterday, Celtic interim manager – Martin O’Neill, was at Motherwell with Mark Fotheringham.

They were scouting the talent that Fir Park club has.

Namely Tawanda Maswanhise.

Clearly desperation levels to land a striker have reached their peak, and this is now what we’re reduced to.

That’s not to say that Maswanhise wouldn’t be a decent addition to our squad, but when we’re reduced to shopping the Scottish Premiership, then that pretty much sums up where we are.

And when our interim manager is the one doing the scouting, that sends a clear message to us that the people actually tasked with negotiating transfers are utterly unfit for purpose.

They have been bypassed.

The manager is trying to get this mess sorted himself.

And to be fair to Martin O’Neill, at 73 years of age, he could be gone to meet his maker before the Celtic board manages to get any transfer business done.

I think he’d rather get it sorted before that comes to pass.

Or he passes.

I’m not even joking when I say that’s how slow our board is.

So if Martin O’Neill wants to bring in Tawanda Maswanhise?

Then the board needs to move heaven and earth to make it happen.

Its not the move I was expecting, that’s for sure.

But a living, breathing striker of any description at this point would be a bonus.

Apparently the board are also working hard on trying to scupper Michael Noonan’s impending move from Shamrock Rovers to Kickers Hoffenheim.

Yes, you read that right.

Instead of us being scuppered, as we have been for the whole of January, we’re going to do the scuppering.

Indeed.

And our “world class” board will land Xabi Alonso as our manager for next season.

Dream on.

Back to Michael Noonan.

Apparently Hoffenheim offered £1 million for the 17 year old striker, but Rovers value him at £2 million.

And that’s what they’re holding out for.

Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t someone we know quite well own a 25% share of Shamrock Rovers?

So, I’m guessing this is the scenario:

Along with Ray Wilson, who owns 25% as well, a certain Dermot Desmond might have instructed the Rovers board to hold out for £2 million.

Effectively, Desmond could be the one playing hardball with Hoffenheim?

Its not inconceivable, is it?

Here’s the funny part, Desmond might have picked up the phone to Michael Nicholson and told him to make a £2 million offer to Shamrock Rovers for Michael Noonan.

I can picture it now.

“Michael, make me an offer for Michael Noonan.”

“Right Dermot, I think he’s worth £1.5 million, so that’s what I’m willing to offer you.”

“I won’t let him go for anything less than £2 million Michael, so make me an offer I can’t refuse.”

“No, £1.5 million is my final offer Dermot.”

“Jesus, you do drive a hard bargain, Michael, now fuck off and try doing that with some other clubs! In the meantime, Noonan’s yours for £2 million.”

“Ok, I’ll email you in the morning to approve it, make sure you’re at the computer at around 9 am our time, otherwise Hoffenheim could steal a march on us!”

“That’s around 4 am here in Barbados, Michael, you’ll have to wait an hour or two before I respond.”

“That’s your call, Dermot, but Hoffenheim could come in with a better offer, so please, answer the email asap?”

“I’ll answer it when I answer it, Michael, you know that’s how I do business. Remember, a million people could tell me what to do, and I’d only listen to me. You know the drill.”

Okay, that’s enough of that, but you get the picture.

Things are that farcical at Celtic, you could actually see that conversation happening.

But seriously, if Celtic want Michael Noonan that badly, could Dermot Desmond not pull his fairly significant strings at Shamrock Rovers to make it happen?

Its a win win for him.

Celtic get the player they want, and his shareholding at Rovers gets a nice, tidy dividend, as a result of the £2 million banked.

This one should be a no brainer.

But knowing Nicholson, he’d still manage to mess it up and lose out to Hoffenheim.

In fact I’ll make a prediction.

MIchael Noonan will not come to Celtic.

Lets see if I’m right or wrong…

Number of days Michael Nicholson remains Celtic CEO since Wilfried Nancy’s sacking – 13

Key Takeaways

• Celtic’s inactivity in the January transfer window raises concerns while fans speculate on the reasons behind it.
• Interim manager Martin O’Neill is scouting for players himself, indicating the board’s failure to secure transfers.
• Tawanda Maswanhise from Motherwell is a potential target, reflecting desperation as Celtic struggles to make signings.
• Celtic might miss out on Michael Noonan due to poor negotiation, despite the board’s connections with Shamrock Rovers.
• If Dermot Desmond truly wanted Noonan, he could leverage his influence to facilitate the transfer, but the situation seems grim.