Barry Ferguson wants us to believe the ‘perception’ of Greegsy is unfair… he’s not staunch at all, he just ‘gets it’, detests Celtic, and understands the ‘identity’…

Well, well, well.

Uncle Barry is at it again.

This time he’s popped up in the Record to tell us all about Allan McGregor’s return to the Ibrox side as Derek McInnes’ new goalkeeping coach.

And he’s got a message for the rest of us.

The ‘perception’ of Greegsy, apparently, is a wee bit unfair.

Right.

Let me get this straight.

Barry Ferguson wants us to believe that Greegsy isn’t really staunch at all.

Perish the thought.

He ‘gets it’… but that’s not why he’s back, you understand.

Here’s Barry, in his own words:

People will talk about the fact Allan “gets it” at Rangers and he does. That’s important. But it’s more about his ability as a coach, how good a goalkeeper he was, and what he’s been through at Rangers.

Ah.

So he ‘gets it’.

That’s important.

But it’s more about his coaching ability.

Of course it is, Barry.

Of course it is.

It’s just a happy coincidence that the man who ‘gets it’ also happens to detest Celtic.

Pure fluke, that.

Give me a f*****g break.

The ‘perception’ that’s so ‘unfair’.

There’s a perception of Allan that’s maybe a bit unfair to him.

Is there, Barry?

Is there really?

And what perception would that be?

That McGregor spent the guts of two decades diving at our support’s feet, gesturing at the Celtic end, and generally conducting himself like a man who’d swallowed a Union flag?

That perception???

The one every single one of us formed by watching him with our own eyes??

Nah.

Couldn’t be that.

Barry even tells us, and I quote, “what you see is what you get” with Allan McGregor.

Well, quite.

What we saw was a man who spent years antagonising our support at every opportunity.

So by Barry’s own logic, that’s precisely what they’re getting.

Cheers for clearing that up.

Then comes the bit he really wants you to swallow.

Look, this isn’t just about getting ‘Rangers men’ back into the club.

Isn’t it?

But we had an identity. And we had people in the background who understood what the club was all about.

Ah.

There it is.

The ‘identity’.

The magic word.

Because nothing says “this isn’t about Rangers men” quite like immediately banging on about the sacred ‘identity’ that only real Raynjurz men could possibly understand.

You couldn’t make it up.

It’s been missing from Rangers for far too long.

Translation?

There haven’t been enough of theym about the place.

Get a few more of the right sort back in, men who ‘get it’, men who ‘understand what the club is all about’, and the good times will roll again.

Now, where have we heard this before?

This is the same tired script we’ve heard a thousand times.

A ‘real Raynjurz man’ arrives.

He ‘gets it’, and of course, he ‘understands the kulture’.

He detests Celtic.

And somehow, magically, all of that is supposed to translate into trophies.

Nobody, I mean nobody, has ever won a league title on staunchness alone.

As I said when Greegsy first strolled back through the Ibrox door, staunchness has never won anybody a single medal.

McInnes ‘gets it’.

McGregor ‘gets it’.

Give it a fortnight and they’ll have the tea lady in on the basis that she ‘gets it’ too.

And while he’s at it, he’s got his eye on another old pal.

Barry can’t help himself.

Halfway through singing Greegsy’s praises, he’s off on one about Vaclav Cerny.

The beauty of getting someone like Vash back is that he knows the club already, he understands it. He wouldn’t need a setting-in period now.

He ‘understands it’.

There’s that word again.

Understands.

Gets it.

Knows what the club is ‘all about’.

You’ll have noticed a theme developing here, won’t you?

Every name Barry reaches for comes pre-loaded with the exact same qualification.

Not “he’s a brilliant footballer”.

Not “he’ll win us the league”.

But “he understands the club”.

If he’s available and there’s a chance, it’s a no-brainer for me.

A no-brainer.

Aye, we can see that much, Barry.

Here’s the thing, Barry.

Nobody actually thinks the ‘perception’ of Greegsy is unfair.

We think it’s bang on the money.

You’ve spent an entire column trying to convince us that a man who ‘gets it’, who has the club as “a big part of his life”, who bleeds the ‘identity’ you can’t stop talking about, is somehow not staunch.

Methinks the lad doth protest too much.

Because if you have to write eight hundred words insisting your goalkeeping coach isn’t staunch, while listing every single reason he absolutely is?

That’s shite, Barry, and you know it.

You’ve rather made our point for us.

The perception isn’t unfair.

It’s just true.

And deep down, you know it.

Barry Ferguson (EBT £2.5 million).

I rest my case.

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