I don’t know about you, but I find Mark Pirie very confusing.

He writes stories in the Daily Record that are just downright mind boggling sometimes and today he has written another gem.

In today’s Record, Alfredo Morelos is reported to see a move to Sevilla as a “very good option”

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We are treated to the usual buzzwords, you know?

The old reliable “Bidding war”, “credited with an interest” and one of the mainstays in this ongoing saga, “Aston Villa”.

Aston Villa are always a handy reference to throw in there due to Stevie G’s connection, of course, which hasn’t really been a connection at all so far, but anyway, have a look on this paragraph:

The Ibrox favourite and the club have a decision to make after Morelos entered the final year of his contract and is yet to agree an extension, having last penned a new deal back in March 2019. The La Liga side have been credited with an interest in the past and Spanish media claims they (Sevilla) have already kickstarted a summer bidding war with an offer in the region of £7million with Aston Villa also linked with a move. It’s understood R*****s (sic) chiefs reject claims an offer was tabled.

So they have kickstarted a bidding war? With an offer of £7 million?

“Aston Villa” are linked.

Then the whole paragraph is completely contradicted by, “It’s understood R*****s (sic) chiefs reject claims an offer was tabled.”

So Sevilla have already kickstarted a bidding war, but they haven’t? Which is it?

Now that the “war” is under way, where’s Aston Villa’s bid? Or anyone else’s for that matter?

Pirie continues to contradict himself with this paragraph:

But Spanish outlets have continued to insist a move to Sevilla is on the cards with the club keeping tabs on the 26-year-old. Estadio Deportivo have taken the the claim a step further, stating that a member of Morelos’ “inner circle” reckons the Colombian would be keen on a move.

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Estadio Deportivo have taken the claim a step further?

Because they state that a member of Morelos “inner circle” reckons he’d be keen on a move?

I’d be keen on a move to Sevilla too, I reckon.

Doesn’t mean they want to sign me though, does it?

“Inner circle” is about as vague as you can get when it comes to a reliable source.

It gets better though:

The unnamed insider reportedly told the outlet a switch to Sevilla “would be a very good option” as Morelos “likes Spanish football” and the six-time Europa League winners are “always participating in Europe”.

Yes indeed, “a very good option”, just cos Morelos “likes Spanish football” and there’s an ingenious observation thrown in there about the fact the six-time Europa League winners are “always participating in Europe”.

I think it would be a very good option for me too, cos I like Spanish football as well and it’s great they’re always participating in Europe too.

Yeah, that would definitely turn my head. I think I’d like that!

But the problem is, there’s no £7 million bid on the table, because the Ibrox board says there isn’t, but Mark Pirie says there is, but then there isn’t.

But there is interest from Morelos himself, cos it’s “a very good option” according to the unnamed “insider”.

So I guess if Alfie wants to go himself, then that’s that, isn’t it?

“Hey Sevilla, you’re a very good option for me, I like Spanish football and playing in Europe, so come buy me.”

Job done. Whoop Whoop!

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The final contradiction from Pirie comes in his last paragraph:

Before his season was cut short, the Colombian looked to have rediscovered his best form under Gio van Bronckhorst, and there is no doubt the Dutchman and sporting director Ross Wilson will want to extend the striker’s contract.

So there you have it.

In one article, Sevilla have tabled a £7 million bid, but they haven’t.

A “bidding war” has commenced”, but hasn’t, because there was no bid, because the Ibrox board says there wasn’t.

But Morelos is going to go to Sevilla because it’s “a very good option” and “he likes Spanish football”.

But in the end, he’s going to stay at Ibrox, because Gio and Ross Wilson will want to extend his contract, so he won’t go to Sevilla.

Confused yet?

I feel sorry for the Ibrox fans reading that article.

If they thought they were going to be any wiser with regard to what’s happening with Morelos, they can think again.

Mark Pirie certainly knows how to twist your brain into knots anyway.

His next story on this subject should be interesting.

You might need a degree in psychology to figure it out though.