A Kew Heavins exclusive: I told you Rodgers would leave Celtic, I just got the timing wrong
Eric Knott 
Ian MacNicol/Getty Images Sport
Well, ninety odd years in this game, and sometimes you might not get it right, but eventually, I always do, and I was right about Rodgers leaving Celtic.
It was just the timing I got wrong.
I always knew that those Gucci belts and pearly whites were a true indication of the kind of man Rodgers is.
He will always follow the money.
Egotists always do.
Last season, I might have said it was the pressure coming from Ibrox that would be the cause of his departure, and let’s be honest, he escaped by the skin of his pearly white teeth there.
But this season, its a different distraction.
Once again, its the bright lights of the EPL that will attract Rodgers to head down the M25 a second time.
With Ange Postecoglou, a manager I saw through from day one when he arrived here in Scotland, under severe pressure at Tottenham Hotspur, its only a matter of time before Daniel Levy comes calling and waving wads of cash in front of Rodgers’ eyes.
Rodgers’ side’s dire performance against Falkirk yesterday is proof his mind is elsewhere.
And Postecoglou?
His side limped to a lacklustre victory over a poor Bournemouth side, proving he’s just not as good as he likes to think he is.
In fact, I now feel vindicated in writing my A.N.G.E. article just over three years ago now.
You see, an old codger like me, who has been around as long as I have, generally always gets it right.
It might take some time, but it always comes out in the wash in the end.
I knew Ange Postecoglou was a spoofer, and now I’ve been proven correct.
The irony of it all is that when one ex-Celtic manager loses his job, the current Celtic manager will only be too happy to fill his barely vacated shoes.
We saw how quickly Rodgers ran back in 2019, and we’ll see it again pretty soon.
Especially when you take into account that the Ibrox side are now back at their spiritual home, albeit with restricted views and all that, but they are back.
They are now going to start to get into their stride.
And neither God nor man will stop them coming for Celtic.
And believe me, this time they WILL be coming.
It won’t be like before, as now those hitherto empty words will be backed by the return of financial whiz, street fighter, and all round Ibrox hardman, David Cunningham King.
And if you think the Celtic manager is limited in his options regarding a return to the EPL, think again.
It is also only a matter of time before Julen Lopetegui gets the sack from West Ham after his abysmal start to this season’s EPL campaign.
A humiliating 3-0 defeat to London rivals Chelsea last Saturday has pushed the Spaniard close to the precipice.
It won’t be long before David Sullivan pushes him over the edge if results continue in this vein.
Then it will just be a case of who wants Rodgers more, Levy or Sullivan?
It will all boil down to the highest bidder for his services in the end.
But with the imminent pressure coming from Ibrox, you can be sure Rodgers will take the cash and run.
You know I rarely get my predictions wrong, and I know I’m on the money here.
Like Dave King, I always have my finger on the pulse.
And King knows exactly how to topple Celtic, and make them fold like a pack of cards.
I have no doubt when he sweeps back into power and into the blue room at Ibrox, it will be a seminal moment in the long and unbroken history of the Ibrox club.
Then, I have visions of him placing his pack of cards on the mahogany table in the blue room.
I can see him building a house of cards, with a transfixed audience watching on, holding their collective breaths.
Once the house is complete, King will turn around, break wind, and the whole damn thing will come tumbling down.
And he’ll say:
“All I’ll need to do is fart in the general direction of Celtic Park,” while he holds everyone transfixed with his one good eye, “and the whole rotten operation will fold like a pack of cards.. It’ll come crashing down like that flimsy house of cards I just blew down with a gentle breaking of wind!”
Then the whole place will erupt in wild cheering and adulation, screaming, “the King is dead, long live the King!”
King will proceed to regale them with tales of £50 million of investment, and snatching title 56 from Celtic’s grasp.
Mark my words, this will all be expedited by the departure of Rodgers.
Because while King, due to his undying love for his boyhood club, cannot resist the allure of Ibrox once again, Rodgers cannot resist the allure of cold hard cash.
And Gucci belts, of course.
Remember, you heard it here first.
There is only one place for the Gucci belt and it’s around the neck of this clown ! If Brendan were to leave there is plenty more choking to take over the great club on the east side Glasgow with the greatest support in the world !
Is this comedy? Keavins has clearly slipped into some sort of age related mental condition & should only be listened to by dedicated health care professionals. Somebody tell him where the toilet is, he’s wet again.. .
Yes Peter. It’s a parody. Look at the name….
MORE SHIT FROM SHUEY
Kevin’s at his best spewing complete and utter garbage
I’m struggling to work out if these respondents are buying in to the whole parody vibe here or if some to actually think this is a cut’n’paste from a genuine article by shug?
Great comedy 🤣 just like the tribute act 🤣
My ghod, if this never-kicked-a-ball rangers sycophant hasn’t been able to fashion an entire career out of hoping on hope that Celtic fail.
If it wasn’t for narrating those vhs documentaries on Celtic in the early 90’s oor Shug would be living in a 1989 Cortina permanently parked behind a skip in Leith…much like my own Uncle Shug did until he got huckled for fly tipping.
Jesus he talks some shite. Wee man’s already lost the plot looking through that article. Anything to try and stay relevant.
It’s succulent lamb kebab time
Written under Substance abuse?
Fake news..why you writing this crap? don’t you have any real friends. Niver going to click on this web site again. no wonder the world is full of shite these day’s with people like you writing this guff.
To anyone not too bright and believes this is a real article by Keevins. It’s a spoof, give me strength. Where is your sense of humour. Everything in the garden is rosy and your still looking for something to be offended by.
It’s about time this brain dead old man was put to sleep 😴😴😴😴
Is this a serious journalistic piece? I was waiting for the punchline
Kew Heavins could be related to Joris Bonson lying in bedroom at night dreaming of what he hopes will happen but never does, he also thinks Pinocchio IS a real boy
Two things are correct. Rodgers is egotistic and he will jump at the chance of the EPL in a heartbeat. Cash is king in his mind.
Any comments Mr Keevins on what your crystal ball told you about Beale, Gerrard or the current nut in the house of Ibrokes
IT’S NOT HUGH KEEVINS, IT’S A MICKEY TAKE USING A PARODY NAME OF KEW HEAVINS.
Jesus wept, I asked nine hours ago if the first couple of comments were just continuing the joke, but clearly I gave the readers of this site way too much credit. I would have expected the blue hordes to have read this and believed it was from the pen of Shug, but surely not Celtic fans?
You idiots on here who actually read this and took it as a genuine Hugh Keevins piece are an embarrassment. We are talking about a true hun-like, masonic-minded, Orange Belt judo, sash wearing level of stupidity & staunch gullibility here! Shameful stuff…
Kew, where do you get your information, do you have a mole in Ibrox ??
I agree Rendon Bogers will be away before we win the Big cup again
I do enjoy reading these articles but these new advertisements on the side of thes page appearing and disappearing causing the need to scroll up and down looking for the place I am currently attempting to read is a major distraction and and extreme annoyance.
Need to try n get that fixed ma bhoy
What a load of of. Malarkey if it is Spewy Huey writing this crap
Boy o boy Hugh Kevin’s leaves a lot . He would be better writing si-fi story’s
Instead of working for the
Record
No wonder the record is losing punters daily
What a lot of garbage hh Brendan
Nothing new to write, so just write pish? I’m all for a laugh but this is about as funny as the scouting ability of the Crybox mob. Actually, scratch that: the latter gave me more laughs.