Breaking – They’ve hatched a new cunning plan at Ibrox to stop Celtic – Full squad rebuild and fill the team with Scots

Well, as I pointed out in my article earlier today, Kris Boyd led the way with calls for more Scottish players in the Ibrox side.

Now his mate, Ally McCoist has echoed his sentiments, and reckons that around 7 Scottish players could make the Ibrox side title challengers again.

Apparently, it seems to be a bit of a bone of contention that there wasn’t a single Scottish player in their starting line-up against Hearts at Tynecastle last Monday evening.

Ally McCoist insists it matters.

And when Ally speaks, everybody listens don’t you know?

Ingeniously, “Ibrox legend” McCoist believes that because Hearts had five Scots in their starting line-up on Monday evening, they wanted it more.

And in the end it mattered more to them than it did to the mercenaries that fill the Ibrox ranks.

According to Kris Boyd, they don’t care.

It doesn’t matter to them.

So now its time for rebuild number 14 in 14 years.

Except this time they’re going to do it differently.

They’re going to do it with Scotsmen.

Now personally, I’m at a loss to try and figure out why this has suddenly become a problem for them.

In Martin O’Neill’s first game in charge against Rangers 1872, Dick Advocaat’s side squad that day had just four Scottish players in it.

It didn’t seem to be a problem then, but now all of a sudden it is.

I suppose only two Scottish players were in the Ibrox squad against Hearts, and that’s sent McCoist and Boyd into convulsions.

Of course, McCoist had to launch into how good the old guard were at Rangers 1872.

He believes they have to address their lack of local identity this summer if they are to reestablish a winning culture at Ibrox:

The first thing I wrote down – no Scotsmen, said the club’s highest ever goalscorer on TalkSport earlier this week. You can say what you like but it matters. It’s a massive thing.

Our successful team was ridden with Scotsmen – Durrant, Brown, McCall, I could name you eight in the team.

You’ve got to have Scotsmen in your team, they definitely know what it’s about.

Oh sweet Jesus, I already talked about that famous winning kulture in my article earlier today.

14 years, and they’re still looking for it somewhere in the dark recesses of Ibrox.

Kind of reminds of the U2 song, I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.

But Ally and Kris Boyd believe this is the way forward for thew Ibrox club.

The Record entertained their shite and came up with seven names.

Ollie “I’d never be caught in a huddle” McBurnie

Kenny “Hardcore Raynjurz” McLean

Nathan “I might have played here before” Patterson

Findlay “I’m Raynjurz till I die” Curtis

Lewis “All of my relatives played for Raynjurz” Ferguson

Luke Graham – no former Raynjurz connection here.

And finally, Elliot Watt of Motherwell.

There you have it, the solution to all of the Ibrox side’s problems.

Suggested by intrepid stenographer, Andy Newport, of the Daily Record.

Good luck with that then.

Jesus wept.

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