So even Broxi Bear had to be ‘personally warned’ for provoking Celtic fans at Ibrox. 37 pages of review, and a man in a bear suit still couldn’t help himself

Well, well, well…

Where on earth do we even begin with this one?

As reported by the Glasgow Times, the SFA have finally published their independent review into the events surrounding the Scottish Cup quarter-final between the Ibrox side and Celtic at Ibrox back on the 8th of March.

You remember the game.

The one where Celtic strolled into their ground and dumped them out of their own cup.

The one their support, and their club, still haven’t gotten over.

Mark Blackbourne was handed the job of poring over every last detail of that afternoon, and he’s come back with a detailed 37-page account of how it all unfolded.

37 pages.

And tucked away on page 11 is a single line that just about sums up everything you’ll ever need to know about that club.

The RFC mascot was twice observed and recorded, by the Match Delegate, provoking the away support and personally warned by the Safety Officer.

Read that again.

Go on, take your time.

A grown man, in a bear suit, had to be “personally warned” about his conduct towards Celtic fans.

Not once.

Twice.

Twice the Match Delegate had to observe it, record it, and note it down for posterity.

You couldn’t make this up.

Twice Broxi Bear decided that winding up the away end was a far better use of his afternoon than waving to the weans he’s actually there to entertain.

Twice.

You genuinely could not make this up if you tried.

I shit you not.

A mascot.

A man paid to dance about in a giant novelty costume, sweating buckets under a fibreglass bear’s head, and even he couldn’t contain the urge to have a go at the Celtic support.

Of course he couldn’t.

Because that’s the culture over there, isn’t it?

When even the mascot can’t keep his paws to himself, that tells you everything about the “winning kulture” at that club.

We’re forever being lectured about the mentality at Ibrox.

The steel. The togetherness. The “winning kulture”.

And what does the great independent review actually uncover?

That their proudest export on the day was a bloke in a bear suit getting a ticking off from the Safety Officer for goading a set of away fans.

While getting knocked out of a cup on their own patch, no less.

Priorities, eh?

Somewhere in the fibreglass skull of Broxi Bear beats the very heart of that support.

Consumed by us.

Obsessed with us.

Living and breathing Celtic, while we were busy knocking them out of the tournament and going home with the smiles on our faces.

Rent free doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Naturally, both clubs have been cited, because heaven forbid the ledger ever be allowed to look one-sided.

Both the Ibrox side and Celtic have been cited under Disciplinary Rule 37, with the hearings conveniently set for the same day, Thursday the 16th of August.

And there it is.

The obligatory “one for you, one for us” balancing act that we’ve come to know and love from Hampden.

Their mascot is caught, twice, red-handed, provoking away fans in an official 37-page report.

And yet somehow, by the time the paperwork lands, it’s magically become a shared problem.

Funny how that works.

I’ve long since stopped being surprised by any of it.

Make no mistake, if the boot were on the other foot, and it had been the Celtic support twice recorded and warned, we’d have had a fortnight of hand-wringing columns from the Stenography Corps about the “shame” of it all.

Instead?

A man dressed as a bear provokes thousands of Celtic fans, gets warned about it in black and white, and the story barely raises an eyebrow in the usual outlets.

Apparently not.

The truth is, that afternoon at Ibrox lives in their heads, and it always will.

They can commission all the independent reviews they like.

It won’t make any difference.

They can bury the bear on page 11 and hope nobody notices.

They can share the citation around like a plate of sandwiches so it doesn’t sting quite so much.

But 37 pages of review can’t change the one fact that matters.

We went to their ground, we beat them, and we knocked them out of their own cup.

And their answer to all of that was to send a man in a bear costume out to bait our support.

Twice.

That, right there, is the intellectual level we’re dealing with.

A dead club, still clinging to 1872, sending a bear out to fight its battles.

You’d laugh if it wasn’t so tragically on brand.

Amateurs.

So here’s a wee word of free advice for Broxi Bear ahead of that hearing on the 16th of August.

Keep your paws to yourself, big man.

Because the last time your lot tried to provoke us, it ended with us dancing out of your ground, into the next round, and living rent free in your head ever since.

Nuff said.

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